The Final Run
by macaronicheezez96
Summary: After the Volturi's visit in Forks, life goes on in La Push. What happens to the wolf pack, Reneesme, Jacob and Leah? A story about how the wolves learn to grow and love - an ending after Breaking Dawn.
1. Chapter 1

And life on the reservation went on.

With the imminent threat of vampires left behind, with no pain and suffering left to be felt on the reservation any longer, the boys of La Push could finally get on with their lives.

Sam Uley stopped phasing, embracing his inner desire to catch up with his imprint; he could no longer let her grow and age – the thought of being left behind troubled him far too much. And so, he stopped. It had been harder than he ever thought it to be: the difficulty lying in his inability to let go of his wolf so easily. For even though none of them wanted to admit it, their wolves were _them_ , fused so deeply to their souls that it was now impossible to tell the human apart from the wolf. Sam pushed on, with Emily supporting him fully. The pack supported him too – he _had_ to succeed, for if Sam could do it, they all could too.

And Sam did. Just in time to become a father as well.

The cycle of things in La Push went along in this way for the majority: the wolves stopped phasing and started to focus on their families – children were born, nurtured and grew. Babies were constantly popping up within the pack. The un-imprinted wolves used this window of opportunity to avoid imprinting, to savour their ability to choose their own loves and find their own soulmates. There was a beauty to having a choice: they didn't want perfection, and the wolves were always up for a challenge.

Surprisingly, Quil stopped phasing too. The Elders and the whole pack were shocked by his decision, but Quil – despite the pull of the imprint – could not live his whole life doting on a young toddler, waiting for her to grow, wasting his years away for her, watching his friends and pack mates age, all the while he remained frozen in adolescence. The imprint was still there after he stopped, he just resigned himself to being her 'big brother', her protector… He always thought it would be too weird to want a romantic relationship with a girl he'd potty trained. He remained her dedicated friend, helping her out whenever she needed, baby-sitting whenever necessary, but in the midst of all the life he was living, Quil also managed to fall in love. A girl from the Makah, petite and charming and wonderfully sweet and everything Quil wanted her to be: accepting of his relationship with little Claire, understanding his love for her in a way no one else possibly could.

And the whole reservation watched as their relationship flourished and grew, and everyone was so happy when they married and started their family… for Quil was a true testament to the fact that the boys of La Push could break the magical bonds that were dictating their lives… or at least find a way to work around them.

Seth and the younger wolves worked hard at their education … until they all went off to school, or found good jobs around the reservation and Forks. Away from the world of magic and mystery that had turned their teenage worlds upside down, the boys could search for themselves and for love: they found friends and lovers outside of the reservation, and also on it. They grew and learned and loved but never forgot the deep bonds that held them together – _brothers_.

The fear of death and tragedy were left behind: only a handful of wolves kept phasing, watching their brothers live whilst they kept the reservation safe.

There were, obviously, run-ins with lone vampires running across the border, going up North; these were handled swiftly and deftly, so as not to disturb life on the res any further. The notoriety of the wolves of La Push had extended far beyond the Olympic Peninsula and vampires knew well enough not to tread on this land. But a few student newborns were always expected.

And Leah and Jacob were always there to greet them.

"Give them the La Push welcome" as they referred to it, sharing smug grins, an inside joke that occasionally became a reality.

Jacob and Leah.

The Alpha and the Beta.

They were the last to keep phasing: Jacob for Reneesme and the Cullens, Leah for the simple sake of having something to do… and the fact that her resentment towards the powers-that-be and subsided and transformed into happiness and tranquility: she enjoyed the routine and rigidity that came with life as a Beta, the powers and authority that had been entrusted to her by her Alpha. But deep inside her, she knew that she would have to stop eventually.

"I'll stop when you do."

"What?"

Jacob was looking at her, his face serious and no trace of humor present on the lines of his face. They still looked the same age as they had when they started phasing, so many years ago, but the knowledge and the wisdom that they had absorbed over the years was evident in their faces, their eyes. Leah studied him for a moment, trying to discern the obvious underlying meaning of his words.

"I'll stop phasing with you. Alpha and Beta… we do it together."

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "What about Nessie?"

Jacob's mouth twitched, before it pulled up into a bright smile, his bright smile, _Jacob's_ smile. He turned away, training his eyes on the two distant figures across the meadow, heads bent together, talking earnestly about something Jacob himself could not understand. And as he did so, he couldn't help but notice how they fit together perfectly, how they were just the right height for each other, and just the right build, and how his slightly olive skin set off her own pale complexion: darkness and light, Nessie and Nahuel.

The Cullens had extended their time in Forks for as long as they could but they eventually embraced their reality and started looking for a new place to which they could re-locate. Bella protested, obviously, and everyone had expected Jake to protest as well, but he couldn't find it within himself to do so. At first, his passiveness had confused him. Certain things were expected of him as an imprinted wolf, certain things which he had to feel, certain ways in which he had to act… but when he had been informed by Edward of their plans to move, Jacob hadn't reacted in the way everyone had expected him to. The Cullens had been prepared to watch the Alpha torn between two loves: his reservation and his imprint. They were ready to help him resolve his demons, and to find a way to make him happy, away from the reservation and with his imprint.

But that wasn't required.

His wolf knew full well that losing Reneesme would be painful. A part of his heart would always be with her… but his wolf also knew that, like Quil, a romantic relationship with Reneesme would be unnatural. She was soft, he was hard. She was flowers and lightness and perfection and he was the cold, hard earth beneath your feet, drenched in rain and mud. She was books and intellect and something beyond the Olympic Peninsula, whilst he was the essence of it, its spirit and its soul. She was lovely and beautiful and a good friend… but that was it.

Like Quil, Jacob never harboured any romantic feelings towards the girl. The concept of imprinting and its purpose had been long discussed within the pack: when Quil had informed every one of his relationship with Chele, the other imprints had been terrified. What if the bond was not all it had been thought out to be? What if they became insignificant? Jacob had consoled his sister one too many times, quashing any worries and fears she had about her and Paul, reassuring her that there was no better match for him than her, and for her than him. "You calm him, Rach, you ground him. You are his earth."

Everyone eventually accepted that, maybe, imprints were not only meant to warm the wolves' beds and give them pups and share a romantic relationship with them. Everyone also agreed that Quil and Jacob's situations were … _wrong_. Reneesme agreed, too.

The girl was smart, sometimes a bit too much for Jacob's liking. She read and studied and wanted to learn all the time, and that was something Jacob could not give her. He was not book-smart, he couldn't keep up a conversation on politics or ethics to save his life, but he showed her a side to life that her parents and grandparents and her aunts and uncles never could. He gave her a childhood, for however brief a period, taking her to playgrounds and the beach and teaching her how to swim. Later, he would transfer these activities to his nieces and nephews, tagging Reneesme along whenever she felt like it.

When she was old enough, Jacob had explained the concept of imprinting to her as best he could. He showed her all the possibilities, Sam and Emily, Paul and Rachel, Jared and Kim, Quil and Claire… they had a mature conversation about it, discussing its pros and cons, what it meant for the imprinter and the imprintee … why Leah had not imprinted… Reneesme had accepted all of Jacob's explanations, then went further, researching on her own as best she could about this vague concept, developing her own opinion about it.

Jacob was her best friend. When her mom and dad could not go out into the sunshine, Jacob had always been there to take her out, show her the world of people and the world of the wolves. Billy would give her candies and tell her old stories, she'd meet up with Claire and play some stupid games that the human child would be fixated about for some time, she'd learn how to bake at Emily's house and run with Leah, exploring the woods around La Push until they knew them all perfectly.

Jacob had given her a chance to see life on the reservation through his eyes, so that she would be able to understand what accepting the imprint would mean. _This is my life_ , it seemed as if he was pleading to her.

And it was a beautiful life, with love and family and friendship at the centre; with the rich smell of pines and soil surrounding you wherever you went, the small houses and the simple way of life, the happiness of seeing children born into the world without fearing for their safety, the importance of brotherhood and the pack. She liked the _smallness_ of Jacob's world, how his eyes only saw as far as the La Push border would allow, how all that mattered in the world was the sandy beach of La Push and the thick woods around his home, how everything he could possibly ever need was _there_ , along with his happiness.

But that was not _hers_.

Her world of books and knowledge compelled her to a greater life, a larger life, one beyond La Push… she didn't want La Push, she wanted the whole world. And she could never imagine Jacob in the world: Jacob with his funny jokes and his feet planted firmly in the soil, his brothers and sister and his huge family that was so alive and growing and happy.

"You are my brother," she uttered, and the finality of her words filled Jacob with a sense of relief. They'd sat facing each other in a clearing when she was fully grown, when she had made her decision. Part of her felt selfish for putting his life on hold until she reached full maturity, but she knew that this was _right_ ; she had taken this decision seriously and wanted to be old enough to do it well.

It had taken Reneesme seven years to grow into her eighteen year old self, to reach her perpetual state. In those seven years, she'd watched as Jacob's life went on, albeit remained the same in most respects. He would visit frequently, take her out, take her to visit La Push. But during that time, during those seven, long years, something changed.

Reneesme saw it, and so did all the Cullens and the pack.

"Nothing changed," Sue Clearwater and Billy Black would agree. "This is just the way of things."

The pack would tease Leah and Jacob about their relationship: they insisted they were friends, a dynamic duo of Alpha and Beta-awesomeness, but Seth's interest in animals and Nessie's interest in anything in general, had led to certain discussions about wolf-packs and animal hierarchies, where they tried to understand why their pack was the way it was.

"Seth is convinced I am the Alpha female."

Jacob and Leah sat in silence for a while, glaring at each other, before they burst out laughing at the absurdity of it all.

"Hey!" Seth exclaimed. "I am _not_ kidding. You should look into some of this stuff yourselves."

And they did. Eventually… after they got over they stubbornness and gave in to Seth and Nessie's insistence. Jacob and Leah had analysed the information, taking it all in, absorbing it and imprinting it into their brains. But nothing happened.

Leah had become calmer, happier, ever since the Volturi had visited Forks to determine Reneesme's fate. She had embraced her existence as a shape-shifting creature, and had grown to love her wolf and her old soul.

 _Old soul_.

That's what Jake called it. "You have an old soul, Leah."

And she agreed that he did, too. And they agreed that their souls were connected. They didn't know how… they just _knew_.

She'd kept phasing to protect their reservation but she also knew that she kept phasing for the sake of the connection she had with her Alpha; a connection that had to be nurtured and cultivated. Watching Leah and Jacob together had become like watching a work of art unfold before your eyes: the way they walked, the way they spoke and communicated, the way they just _were_. They understood each other in a way that no one else did: they were both part of the broken hearts club, and used each other as crutches to get on with their lives. Imprinting mended Jacob's heart, gave him a purpose in life, and in doing so, helped him mend Leah's heart.

For many nights after the Volturi's visit, Leah and Jacob had ran many patrols together, discussing the future, keeping each other safe. Jacob taught Leah about his imprint, and they opened up to each other, confided in each other. At some point, they became best friends. Maybe it wasn't for several weeks or months, maybe even years, but they did become friends.

Along the way, Reneesme and Leah also accepted each other. Despite the fact that Reneesme represented everything that Leah hated about imprinting, the girl was far too interested in the she-wolf to be ignored. Their runs became a tradition, almost a routine. Leah trained Reneesme, pushed her to her limits in ways that her family were too scared to do, for fear of hurting the girl. Leah was never warm and cuddly, always a bit distant and standoffish, but that was her way, the wolf way. And if keeping Leah around made Jacob happier, happier than he was if it was just Reneesme, then so be it.

The Alpha and Beta had taught Reneesme her first swear words, much to Bella's dismay, and taught her how to fight and protect herself. Over the years, Nessie had grown to notice the long looks, the prolonged physical contact, the inside jokes and the warm feeling that surrounded the pair whenever they were together. Being around them made her so happy. Watching Leah and Jacob fight, tumbling in the Cullens' backyard, showing Nessie how to do it; fighting over who got to choose which channel, arguing over patrol schedules, long talks about the ever-diminishing pack, reminiscing about their pack brothers, long hugs and silent whispers, maybe even a few tears she should have never seen … light kisses when they thought she wasn't watching, and then even when they knew she was there. She didn't care.

Somewhere along the line, they became more than friends. No one knew when exactly, not even they did, but it happened.

By that time, no one had a problem with it. Bella had Edward, Sam had Emily, Nessie had Nahuel, Jacob had Leah.

"Perfect," Nessie would say, hugging Nahuel as she watched the werewolves arguing outside, pushing and shoving each other until they fell into a heap on the grass, laughing and happy.

And it really was perfect.

The way she fit exactly underneath his chin, which seemed like something so stupid to someone on the outside, but to Nessie it made perfect sense because of how ridiculously tall Jacob was; the way their skin was just the perfect shade for each other, how when they held hands it was impossible to tell the difference, where Jacob ended and Leah began; how they could talk about cars together and not get bored, and she just loved watching him fix up the Rabbit, just sitting there smiling to herself. But most of all, Nessie loved the way the wolf spirit was visible in their eyes, how there was a fire within them that she hadn't seen anywhere else before, a fire that burned deep within their souls.

"I love you," Jacob would say, but Nessie knew what he meant. The way he said it was the way he said it to Rachel and his dad when he was leaving, a nonchalant statement that didn't require any effort from his part because he would _always_ love them, it was obvious.

With Leah, it was different. He needed the effort, he needed her to believe him. With Leah, it wasn't easy – with Reneesme and Billy and Rachel it was like breathing, _effortless_ , but with Leah, he had to work for it. She was a free soul, and she wasn't easy to claim. When he said it to her, it dripped with emotion and love and promise. He bared his soul when he said it to her, and Leah knew it. Reneesme knew it, too.

It was that way with Nahuel for her. It was not easy. But loving someone was never meant to be easy. She had learned of all the sacrifices her family had made to be together. Being with Jacob was far too easy for her; she needed someone that would challenge her, the way Leah challenged Jacob.

And that was Nahuel for her. At first, they had been too preoccupied with their strange, hybrid nature to care about each other's characters, but they eventually realized that there was more keeping them together than their existence. Nahuel was smart and he argued with Nessie, disagreeing with her on things, such that they argued for hours on end, enjoying the feeling of being with someone who was like them.

Edward disapproved, but Bella had been over the moon to watch Nessie interact with someone like her. Nahuel was sweet and weird and wonderful all at the same time… just like her. When she was still a baby, she'd only seen him when they'd come to speak to the Volturi, but as she got older, she sought him out herself, and invited him to Forks.

And as Leah and Jacob drowned in each other, so did she with Nahuel.

So when she was sitting across from Jacob in the meadow, holding his too-large hands in her own small ones, looking into his dark, adoring eyes, she knew that she would never be more sure of her decision.

"It's my seventh birthday today."

He rolled his eyes. "You think I don't know that?"

She smiled and gripped his hands tighter. "Yeah… It's just… when I was younger, I promised myself I'd decide about the imprint by my seventh birthday and… well, here it is. And here I am. And here you are, still here after seven years."

He smiled softly, not his usual Jacob smile – too big and bright and contagious. A younger Jacob would have said something, fulfilling his innate need to fill every silence with words; but seven years was a long time and Jacob, like Nessie, had grown.

"I love Nahuel."

"I know."

"You love Leah."

"I know that, too."

"Well …" There was no appropriate way to say it. She was taking Jacob and setting him free. Setting herself free. "The imprint … I know what it is to us. It's not Sam and Emily or Rachel and Paul… its Quil and Claire… that's what I want. I want you to be mine forever, my brother, my friend. I want you to be there if I accomplish something with my forever life, I want to be there when you get married, I want to be there when you have babies… I – I… I have so much to thank you for, Jacob. You gave me a childhood when my parents couldn't and it has been the most amazing thing ever and I guess that means you're going to be the greatest dad ever, too … We're going to be best friends forever."

She had said all this in a rush, looking down at their intertwined hands. Once she was finished, she looked up at Jacob, unsure how he would react to her wishes. He had remained quiet, still, his eyes searching her face to make sure that she was serious about what she was saying… then he took her into his arms and hugged her with all his might.

" _Thank you_ ," he whispered in her ear, holding her close.

Shortly after, Reneesme and Nahuel had set off for South America, so that she could visit his home. Bella and Edward were the last of the Cullens to leave Forks, boarding up the big mansion in the woods for good, promising the Quileute tribe that they would never return, so as not to disrupt the lives of more young boys and girls.

With Nessie gone, it was as if a chapter in Jacob's life had finished. Nessie's decision had sealed the deal with Leah and Jacob: she was his and he was hers, finally, completely, fully.

They got married shortly after, in a traditional tribal wedding surrounded by their families and friends and their friends' babies. Jacob opened up a garage on the reservation that flourished into a lucrative business with which he helped fund Leah's education. They moved into a house by the beach, always exposed to the soothing sounds of the ocean, but always close enough to the woods for their comfort. She graduated as a midwife soon after, taking up a job in Forks.

They protected the reservation for as long as they could, Leah and Jacob, Jacob and Leah.

Together, they were unstoppable.

"I want a baby."

Even though it still shocked her, Leah supposed it was to be expected. Jacob loved kids almost as much as she did … but they both knew that having a baby would mean giving up the wolf.

"We can't have a kid and keep running patrols at the same time… it just wouldn't be fair…"

"I know…"

As the longest to keep phasing, it would the most difficult for them to stop. But, doing it together, they figured they'd manage. They mulled over the decision for a few weeks: both were impatient, both wanted a child to call their own, to complete them. The Elders accepted their decision and wished them the best of luck and the whole pack was eager to welcome yet another child into the fold.

The day eventually arrived: Leah waited for Jacob to close the garage and make his way back home, waiting patiently on the window seat, staring out at the sea. Her inner wolf was restless and she was jumpy, but they both knew it had to be done. As she saw him approaching the house across the beach, she left her seat and locked the house behind her as she went to meet him at the lip of the woods just behind their home.

They were both silent, and Jacob wrapped an arm around Leah, softly kissing the top of her head as they walked into the woods. Quietly, they shed their clothes, wrapping up in each other's embrace for a few minutes before they stepped away and phased. They took off on a leisurely run, making their way along the borders of La Push, going through the patrol routes in their shared mind.

Eventually, the run turned competitive, and they challenged each other for the sake of it, tongues lolling out of their mouths in a playful manner. Nudging and nuzzling each other, Leah savoured the image of Jacob's wolf in her mind for one final time, and Jacob did the same, taking in her small, graceful frame, and her beautiful eyes, before licking her muzzle and trotting off, beckoning her to follow him.

As they made their way back home, they shared memories of beings wolves together for one final time.

 _The final run_ , Leah thought, and Jacob agreed.

 _I promised we'd stop together._

 _And we are._

 _Alpha and Beta together. Forever._

 _Forever._


	2. Chapter 2

**All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

 **A/N: So this story was intended to be a one-shot, but I toyed with the idea of developing it into a full-length story and I just had to go with out. The first chapter therefore gives like a summary of what happens from start to finish, but each chapter will go in depth with what exactly happened. I hope you enjoy it!**

C _hapter 1_

 _Leah Clearwater_

 _ **Lunch**_

It had been a couple of weeks since the arrival of the Volturi in Forks. All the mounting tension and excitement had culminated in a single, peaceful discussion between the two covens of vampires and once again, everyone spent an unnecessary amount of time crooning and cooing over little Reneesme Cullen.

This had gotten old ages ago. I mean, yeah sure, the kid was unique and special but, for Christ's sake, we were shape shifters and vampires… everyone should have gotten used to it by now. She was… quite pleasant, as far as half-vampire half-human babies go… but still, her very existence made my skin crawl and I was still trying to wrap my head around everything. As soon as the imminent threat of vampires invading our lands was gone and settled, the two Alphas ordered the younger wolves – the ones who had phased due to the little confrontation we'd had – to stop phasing immediately. It was only fair – we wanted them to have as normal a life as possible. And, they were also meant to be our beacon of hope.

If the young kids could do it, then so could we. And some of us – mostly Sam – desperately needed them to succeed. For Emily's sake. And for his own.

Something in my heart still wrenched when I thought of them together – I guess that pain could not be dulled so easily; but I was getting better, I swear. Whilst part of me still hurt, another part, a more determined one, was starting to accept them together. I had to, after all. A few days after the Volturi had left, Sam and Emily had announced their engagement. I guess all that fear of losing the one you love to a bunch of ancient, vindictive vampires puts things into perspective. Everyone was happy for them, and even I was, to some extent. They were an example of how we could have normal lives… if we tried hard enough.

After the whole battle-that-never-was, the younger wolves, like my brother and the others who were still in school, focused on their studies. We all wanted them to do well… it wasn't fair that their lives had to be ruined because of this mess. The older ones got jobs, and started focusing on settling down… and then there was me.

I'd thrown logic out the window when I'd joined Jacob's pack, but now I had to find something productive to do with myself for the rest of my life. I did have forever after all.

I sat in the kitchen, nursing a cup of coffee, staring intently at a small speck of dust beneath my mother's refrigerator. What could I, the only female shape shifter in history, devote my life to?

"If you're going to keep staring at that any longer, your head's gonna explode," an annoying voice piped in.

I didn't look away. My wolf knew fully well who it was – almighty leader and Alpha, Jacob Black. He'd made a habit of waltzing into our kitchen at all hours of the day to steal our food and annoy my brother.

"Go away, Jacob."

"Aww, come on Leah. Aren't you happy to see me?" he asked, grinning as he opened the damn refrigerator and started sifting through the food.

"I'm busy."

"Look, I know we explode into giant, furry wolves but developing telekinesis is highly improbable at this stage, Clearwater."

"I'm not… nevermind. What do you want?" Ever since Jacob Black had imprinted on little Reneesme Cullen, he was perpetually in a good mood: always smiling, laughing, making jokes, trying to brighten up someone else's day… not even the fact that Paul was his soon-to-be brother-in-law could get him down. Most of the times it was sickening to be around him, but today I couldn't even bring myself to be irritated. This was, after all, the decision of a lifetime.

"Nothing. I was just passing by, thought I'd check up on you."

"Why?" I asked suspiciously. I knew full well I wasn't Jacob Black's favorite person in the world.

I could see the thoughts flickering across his features – he was going to lie, but then thought better of it and decided to tell me the truth. "The Cullens were complaining I spend too much time there… they said they don't get enough of Nessie for themselves. I guess they're jealous I'm too awesome to compete with and they're scared Nessie will realize how dull they really are. Anyway, I decided I needed a break from them too… their smell doesn't get better with time. So I came back to La Push, but then I realized everyone is either at school or working … except you…"

Jake had this special ability to ramble on about everything – it was useful in situations where we wanted to avoid awkward silences, but sometimes he just did my head right in. I zoned him out as he started to describe, in excruciating detail, what Nessie had learned yesterday, going on and on about how smart and amazing she was. I stared at him, pretending to listen, when in reality, I was a whole world away, imagining myself behind cheese counters and reception desks, forced to smile painfully for the rest of my life.

Could I do that? Was I willing to subject myself to that sort of torture for _eternity_?

"Leah? Leah are you listening to me?"

I snapped out of it and brought the cup to my lips – the coffee was barely warm enough now, but I gulped it down anyways. "What?"

"I said, do you wanna go get a job?"

This question spiked my curiosity. I raised my eyebrows, at first totally surprised, but then I glared at him in suspicion. "What the hell are you on, Jacob? What did those vampires give you?"

"Come on, Leah. You don't have a job, I don't have a job… we need the cash. We could go looking for a job together. It's not like you have anything better to do."

"Actually… you know what? Okay. I call dibs on the first decent job we find, though."

Jacob grinned and fished a bag of Doritos out of one of my mother's cupboards. "Sure, sure, ladies first, Clearwater."

I dumped my cup of coffee in the kitchen sink and hightailed it out of the front door, locking it behind us. Jacob fell into a comfortable pace, walking down the road towards the town centre. I fell alongside him, hands dug deep into the pockets of my shorts, eyes downcast.

I had to admit, it was weird being with Jacob in a situation that was not pack related. We barely got along enough to decide who was going to patrol where, and we'd never had the chance to be alone together without the threat of death a couple of days away, so it was strange to be with him like this, walking down the road in comfortable silence. But Jacob managed to make any situation more bearable. I thought he was going to walk quietly, but instead, he started jabbering on about which jobs he was interested in, and any openings that Billy had mentioned during the week.

The truth was, I desperately needed some sort of motivation to walk out of my front door and go look for a purpose for my life – I couldn't just mooch off my mother for the rest of my life, and it got quite boring staring at the TV all day and bouncing tennis balls off my bedroom wall. But part of my mind was reluctant to take this new step towards my future. For such a long time, my life had fallen into a crazy, supernatural routine of patrols and training and meeting up with vampires to discuss plans of attack – I barely had time to have a life apart from that. And now, all of a sudden, my days were only marked by the patrol schedule taped to my bedroom door, and the couple of hours I spent running through the forest every couple of days. We were a large pack – I could patrol once every two days and have the rest of the time all to myself to do … God knows what.

The time leading up to the arrival of the Volturi had, in reality, tired me. I was feeling physically drained – and mentally, I was exhausted. The coming of the vamps had set us all on a mental and emotional high – the fear of dying had been great, rippling throughout the entire pack against our will. It was difficult not to think about it, and for a couple of weeks, the pack mind had become a huge burden to bear. Coming out of that high, unfortunately, was harder: I could feel myself still reeling from the intensity of the emotions from that time, and unlike the other wolves who had immediately plunged themselves into school and work, I had nothing to distract myself with. My mind had all the time in the world to go over all the thoughts and fears I'd absorbed from my pack brothers.

This had left me… strangely subdued. It wasn't normal for me to keep to myself, even at the worst of times, but I was suddenly realizing that I, Leah Clearwater, trapped in a nineteen year old's body, had to grow up now… I couldn't be a kid in the woods forever. I was starting to realize that, maybe, life could start going back to normal, that I could have a shot at a simple, plain life. And it was overwhelming, to say the least. I was still trying to come to terms with all of these new realizations.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Leah?" Jake's voice brought me out of my thoughts. I blinked rapidly and realized we were standing in front of the reservation centre. People were brushing past us, entering and leaving the building, smiling brightly at Jacob, and glowering at me.

Reputations were hard to get rid of.

"None of you business, _Black_ ," I snapped, and turned on my heel to enter the reservation centre.

"You're acting weird, even for you. What's going on? Did Sam bother you again? Are you sad about Emily's wedding? Are the boys getting on your nerves?"

"Shut the fuck up for one second, Jake. You're making me regret leaving the house with you. Do you ever _stop_ talking?" The words fell out of my mouth in a complete rush – low enough for Jake to hear, but not high enough for the matronly reception lady to understand. She was too busy smiling brightly, trying to catch Jake's attention, to care that we were having an argument in her reception.

"Well, excuse me for caring."

"No one asked you to care," I snapped, walking over to the reception and rapping my knuckles against the cheap laminate desk. "Do you have any jobs that we can apply for?"

The receptionist, a local whose name I couldn't bother to remember, eyed me for about five seconds before turning back to smile at Jacob, who'd followed my lead and was leaning casually against the desk with a stupid grin on his face.

"Why yes, I do have some jobs," she chirped brightly as she opened a drawer and started fishing through some papers.

"Thank you, Samantha," Jacob retorted politely, nudging me with his big fat finger and motioning towards _Samantha_ for me to do same.

I was tired, not drugged up. I couldn't be polite for the life of me. Instead, I rolled my eyes and tapped my fingers impatiently as we waited for her to resurface with the jobs.

"Cut it out," he whispered, kicking my shin slowly. I was about to shove him when Samantha planted a few papers on the desk in front of us. She started explaining how lots of people all over the reservation came to the centre to advertise vacancies and job opportunities available in the small shops and businesses that kept this town going. She encouraged us to go through the papers until we found something we liked, as she left to get herself a cup of coffee. Jacob split the stack of papers in two and gave a half to me and kept a half to himself.

I started sifting through them slowly, looking at all the cheap flyers and hand-written notes, taking in the names, the places, the requirements, the pay. Jacob did the same, for the first time in his life committing himself to doing something in silence. Eventually, I pulled a paper out of the stack and smiled.

"Did you find something?"

I nodded. It wasn't something great, but it was a start: a librarian. The library at the only school in La Push needed a librarian to do God knows what, and it seemed to be the ideal job for me: a quiet job in a quiet place where very little people could piss me off and I would get the chance to make people be quiet. And, some time long ago, Leah Clearwater had actually liked books as well, so that was also a bonus.

Jake started laughing as soon as he saw the paper I'd pulled out of the stack. I punched his arm as he started bending over his own stack, clutching his stomach.

"What the hell is your problem?"

"I'm sorry…" he breathed between each cackle, "I just got this really disturbing mental image of you in an old woman's cardigan and old skirt running after teenagers trying to have sex in your library."

I punched him again, for good measure, and because it was the only way to get him to stop laughing.

"Ow, damn it, Leah that hurts."

"What? The big bag Alpha can't take a punch from me?" I taunted, punching him again.

He glared at me, but he couldn't keep a straight face for long. "I'm sorry, I just can't help it."

There was a water dispenser just behind Jacob. I could smash it over his head to get him to shut the hell up…

"What do you think of this?"

I looked away from the water dispenser and eyed the piece of paper that he was pushing towards me. Mr Owens owned a garage in La Push that repaired cars for the people of La Push and even sometimes Forks and Makah – Owens was getting old now and wanted an apprentice to help him get the work done. Jacob was perfect for the job – he enjoyed cars and was great with people and… well, mostly he just enjoyed cars. He'd repaired the Rabbit up all by himself, and even though that stupid car was a safety hazard wherever it went, it still ran perfectly fine.

"Well, maybe sticking your head underneath cars would get you to shut up, finally," I said, handing the paper back to him and getting up off my seat. I planted the rest of the papers in front of Samantha and started heading for the door. I heard Jacob thanking her for her help and rushing up to meet me outside.

"Well, that was quick," he said, shoving the paper in his back pocket and smiling mischievously. I didn't like it when Jacob did that… it was never a good sign. "Why are you in such a rush? It's not like you have anything else to do."

"Look, I came with you to look for a job. I found a job. That's it. What else is there to do? I'm going home."

"How about thanking me for finding you a job?"

" _What_? Finding me a _job_?"

"Yeah, if it weren't for me, you'd still be sitting in your kitchen staring at the refrigerator trying to get it to explode."

I gave him one of my legendary glares. I did not want Jacob to think that I was indebted to him in some way… I didn't want to be indebted to anyone. I was Leah Clearwater for crying out loud. But, it seemed, my glare wasn't working on Jacob.

"I spend most of my time with Rosalie now… you don't scare me, Leah."

"Stupid vampires…" I muttered, kicking a rock with more force than I intended. The rock flew across the road and indented itself in one of the houses across the road. I just stared at it as it glared straight back at me, a reminder that I would never really be normal.

"Let's go get something to eat."

I crossed my arms over my chest and stood my ground. Jacob and I were _not_ about to become best friends. "Don't think you're so lucky."

"Leeee-ahhh, I'm hungry."

I knew this voice: Jacob was about to become all whiny. I turned my back to him and started walking to the school, intent on getting to the library to fill in my application. Jacob followed like a lost puppy, complaining all the way.

"Please, I'm so hungry Leah, it's lunchtime."

"Damn it, Jacob, go to the Cullens, I'm sure they'll have something ready for you. Or get your sister to feed you. _Or better yet_ , feed yourself, you idiot," I said, pushing through the doors of the school library and stalking over to old Mrs. Evans. She seemed shocked to see me there – I hadn't set foot in the library in years – and she was even more shocked when I requested an application for the librarian job.

Jacob was still lingering around, complaining while I was filling in the application about how cruel this world was to him, how difficult it was to satisfy his appetite. I tried to block him – I couldn't break his nose in front of Mrs. Evans, who didn't seem disturbed by his presence in the library. I guess being the chief's son had _way_ too many perks in La Push. I filled in the application and pushed it towards her with a smile.

"You'll be hearing from us, Leah," she said sweetly, and I tried to smile a bit brighter – I'd almost forgotten how to do it, considering that nowadays my default setting was always set to _glare_.

"Thank you, Mrs. Evans," I said before I made my out of the library and started walking back home. I was quite proud of myself, as I had managed to actually get out of the house and apply for a job – something I had been meaning to do for the past few weeks. The only problem was that, in doing so, I'd inadvertently adopted a whining, clingy wolf that wouldn't fucking stop complaining.

Jacob kept bumping into me on purpose, almost knocking me over each time he did it. He was really pissing me off and testing my limits and I was really trying to do my best to stay calm and not kill him in the middle of the road. Jacob knew that he was walking a really thin line here: either I would oblige and agree to cook lunch for us myself, or I'd snap and just break his neck. The odds were never really in his favour.

"You must be really bored to be hanging around me, Jacob. How pathetic huh, kicked out by the Cullens and you have to annoy Leah for the rest of the day. Lucky me."

"Look, I'm not having fun either, I'm just trying to make the best of the situation. Now, what do you say, I know you're hungry, and so am I. Let's go get some burgers," he pleaded, his eyes shining brightly. He bumped into me again, knocking his shoulder against my cheek – he was way too tall for this.

At that point, I didn't care if we were in the middle of the road or in the middle of the forest; my hand darted out of grabbed Jacob by the balls, squeezing them hard. His eyes shot wide in shock and fear at the precarious position he'd put himself in, and I could see the pure terror in his features.

"Jacob Black, if I go to lunch with you, will you please for the love of all that is good and holy in this world, fucking shut the hell up?"

Jacob's face was fixed in a mask of terror for about ten more second, with my hands still on his balls in a death grip, before he relaxed and smiled.

"Yeah, sure."

And that is how I ended up having lunch with Jacob Black.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter _2_

 _Reneesme Cullen_

 **Library**

My day started as it usually did: with momma showering my face with cold kisses to get me out of my slumber. My eyes fluttered open, blinking against the bright light coming in from the outside, unfiltered by the trees surrounding the house we called home. She was there, in all her beauty, like always, unchanging. My mother was a beautiful creature – despite her vampiric traits: my father attributed her ethereal beauty to the human aspects that she couldn't bring herself to leave behind, in a past life. No other vampire bit her lip or ran her hand through her hair as my mother did; it was too real to think of it as an act.

She seemed to be the combination of two totally different worlds, colliding in her eyes before me.

"Good morning, Reneesme," she cooed, brushing the hair away from my face. An adoring look graced her features, a look that never seemed to go away, even when I intruded on Bella-Edward time. My mother could never bring herself to be angry with me or disappointed, because in her heart, I could never be as such. I was the proof that she'd defied immortality in her last few minutes, proof against all those who'd told her that she was throwing away her life by marrying her father. "Would you like some breakfast?"

I scrunched up my face in disgust. Everyone in my family knew that I adored blood and would drink it all the time if I could, but Jacob had made my entire family promise that they'd try their best to feed me human food, to widen my palate or something or other. So on most days, I'd be forced to eat the same food Jacob was eating when he came over to visit us – Aunt Rose would still slip me some blood in some way to keep me satisfied – but overall, it wasn't always a bad experience.

My mother, ever the avid Jacob follower, was taking his advice too seriously and attempted to force human food onto me whenever she could. This was her way of having a daughter that was the best of both worlds: human and vampire.

"Okay," I muttered, sitting up in bed. She grinned widely and flitted away, off to the kitchen to help my Grandma Esme make me something to eat. I settled into my bed comfortably, reaching for the book perched on my bedside table and setting it on my lap with a loud thud. My human hands were a bit too small to handle such a large volume, but in bed, I was comfortable enough to flip through the pages at leisure, absorbing every single word imprinted onto it.

I was now almost a year old, but looked to be five, maybe six years old. My father and grandfather confirmed, however, that my intellect was far beyond that of a six year old… maybe even beyond that of an eighteen year old, as my aunt Rose was quick to point out. She was never good at subtlety – everyone knew she was referring to Jacob. I could never really grasp the animosity present between the two; Jacob always tried to keep a safe distance from her whenever he could, but my aunt was always around me, and Jacob was too, so they couldn't help bumping into each other.

Sometimes, she complained that Jacob spent too much time at our house, too much time with me, but then, when she saw how happy he made me, how much I laughed at his silly jokes and antics, she would shut her mouth and smile tightly. I liked my Aunt Rose – she was a very complex and strange person, even for a vampire.

And I liked Jacob too. For the first few months of my life – when I was growing rapidly and trying to grasp everything around me that the world had to offer – my mind couldn't comprehend Jacob's presence at our house. He was clearly very different from us, both in terms of aesthetics and also in terms of genetics. Everyone at home was cold, whilst Jacob was warm. My family was pale, whilst Jacob's skin seemed to shine and glow with colour. At first, I was able to deduce the differences between Jacob and family, even myself. I thought that Jacob existed alone in this universe as a warm, olive-skinned entity who visited us once in a while.

But then, sometimes, he brought his friends along with him, who looked so much like him, but then again, were so different from him as well. I started cataloguing all the different types of people one could meet in life: vampires, like my parents, shapeshifters like Jacob and his friends, and humans like my grandpa Charlie.

Once I had accepted this, there was still another matter I couldn't yet understand: why was Jacob always with us? He was obviously repulsed by certain things my family did, and he was constantly complaining of their smell, and yet, he was still drawn to us in some way.

My mother came in with a tray of food and I set the book aside to start nibbling on my breakfast. She sat on the edge of the bed, smiling down at me as I ate, before she kicked off her shoes and climbed into bed with me, getting in under the sheets and curling her body against mine.

"Do you miss the food?" I asked her, bringing a strip of bacon to her nose. She smiled as I did so, and shrugged.

"Sometimes I miss the taste of burgers and fries and really good pizza… but I don't get cravings for food anymore… it's a bit weird to get used to, I suppose."

Content with her answer, I focused my attention back on the food in front of me. When all the food was cleared from the plate – only then was my mother satisfied with my attempts to behave as a human – I placed the tray on the floor beside the bed and turned the face her. Question time was not over yet.

My mother never seemed to be irritated by my constant string of questions, about every single thing that seemed to spike my interest. I could tell that Jacob sometimes got annoyed when I asked too many questions, but my mother and father were always thrilled to answer me – knowledge is key, as my father liked to say.

"Why is Jacob always here? Logically, it doesn't make sense that he would be willingly spending his time here, since he is so different from us; and yet, he does. Why?"

My mother blinked – not because she had to, but it was a habit she hadn't gotten rid of yet. Her golden eyes danced over my face, not betraying any emotions that might have been triggered by my line of questioning. If she was surprised, or saddened, she didn't show it.

"Well, Reneesme, in the world, in _life_ , you get family and you get friends. Family is given to you, you don't have to choose it, but friends – you have to find them for yourself. Jacob is my friend, and your friend too – he doesn't care that I'm a vampire and he's a shapeshifter, he loves me because we get along, and sometimes we make each other laugh, and help each other. And friends visit each other, because they like to spend time together. That is why Jacob is always here."

I pondered her explanation for a while. "So Jacob is your friend from when you were human?"

She nodded. "I see," I said. In the past year, I'd never grappled with the concept of friendship before… it was still a bit abstract to me. "Mother? Jacob is your friend, and so he is my friend by default. Will I ever have friends of my own?"

She smiled, but I caught a bit of sadness lingering at the edges of her eyes and her mouth. "Why, of course, sweetie, you can have as many friends as you want." She pulled me into a solid, cold embrace: my mother's hugs were different from Jacob's and the other wolves, but I still liked both kinds of hugs anyway.

Aunt Rose danced into the room as my mother was still holding me to her, and she clapped her hands enthusiastically. "Good morning, Reneesme! Let's get you dressed honey."

I couldn't help it – my eyes went wide with surprise and joy. "We're going out?! Even though it's really sunny outside?"

My high pitched words seemd to linger in the air between us. Rose's hands were still raised, mid-clap, but her smile faltered, even if for just a second. Her face went all tight and restrained, as it did when she got mad about something. Something in my stomach churned in embarrassment and guilt as I realized the sad look on my Aunt's face was my fault.

"I'm sorry, Aunt Rose – "

"No, it's not your fault. Silly me, I forgot to check the weather outside – I was so excited to try on your new outfits for you."

My mother and aunt exchanged sad looks over my head; this was always hard for them – on the rare occasion that it was actually sunny in Forks, my parents and family were confined to the rooms of their massive home, and I was sometimes forced to stay inside along with them. Sometimes, my mother would call Jacob and he'd take me out to play, against the wishes of my dear Aunt Rose, of course.

But now that she'd promised me to go out, she'd have to find a way to make me happy – and so, she sighed in frustration as she left to call Jacob to arrange an outing. Outings with Jacob generally meant crossing the border into La Push and visiting his family, or going down to First Beach to play on the sand. I didn't mind – I guess these were activities that normal five-year olds would enjoy.

My mother and aunt swapped roles when they realized that Bella was far better suited to deal with Jacob than Rosalie ever would be. Rose brushed my hair slowly, braiding it up and straightening out my clothes in a way children would dress up dolls. My aunt's love for me was sometimes intoxicating, but I enjoyed the feeling of basking in her adoration from time to time.

My mother came back into the room with a disappointed look on her face. "Uh… Jacob can't pick you up this morning sweetie – "

"What?!" Rosalie snapped, setting the hairbrush down on the bed slowly, as if to calm herself. "Why the hell not?"

"Calm down, Rose. Jacob has a job now, he can't just leave to come take Reneesme out." That seemed to shut my aunt up. "But, he'll be coming to pick her up later, for lunch. He can take half the day off, would you like that Reneesme?"

I nodded, a small smile on my lips. I didn't mind – I'd have more time to read at leisure, and spend some time with my family. My mother seemed to think that forcing me to do human stuff would make me more human, but at the same time, she also wanted to revel in the vampiric side of me. My mother was confusing. Aunt Rose helped me to change back into more comfortable clothes, and I settled down for a morning of reading whilst my father played soft, soothing music downstairs on his piano. Bella soon left my side, probably to join him and stare lovingly as he played her lullaby.

Members of my family would stop by my room to talk to me as the day progressed – Emmett attempted to rope me into one of his latest fixations, but I politely declined, whilst Jasper discussed my book with me for a while before he went to search for Alice. Esme came by to offer me food (and a small glass of blood), but apart from that, I was left to my own devices for the majority of the time.

When it was lunch time, a sharp knock on the front door alerted us that Jacob had arrived to pick me up. As my mother greeted him downstairs, I got dressed quickly and rushed down to meet him.

"Jacob!"

"Hey Nessie," he grinned, ruffling my hair as he slung an arm around my shoulders. Aunt Rosalie hissed as he did so, but he'd probably done it one purpose just to piss her off.

"Where are you taking her?" my father inquired. Edward sometimes found it difficult to hide his discomfort when Jacob came to take me out… I couldn't understand why exactly, but I supposed it had something to do with the fact that he turned into a giant wolf and took me to see other giantwolves.

"We're going to grab some lunch then we're going to meet up with Quil and Claire," Jacob informed and when my family seemed happy enough with the plan, we were allowed to leave; but not before each of my aunts kissed me goodbye, and my mother and father held me for an unnecessarily long amount of time before handing me over to Jacob.

I climbed into the Rabbit, and peered over the edge of the window as he drove us to La Push. It truly was a beautiful day, with the sun shining and the air not nearly warm, but perfect enough. I watched the trees rush past us, the dense forest that welcomed us to La Push, and then, we were stopping in front of a small diner in the middle of town. Jacob helped me out of the car and lead me to the front door – even though I didn't like human food, I tried my best to enjoy it with Jacob… maybe because a part of me desperately wanted to make him _my_ friend, not just my mother's. We sat down at one of the booths, the old plastic seat sticking to my leg as I slid further into the booth.

"So, Ness, what you've been up to today?" Jacob asked as he eyed the menu, looking to see what he was going to devour in the next couple of minutes.

"I was reading… I'm learning Hindu."

Jacob put the menu down on the table and looked at me with narrowed eyes. "Why are you learning Hindu?"

I explained why as if it was the most plausible reason in the world for a one year old who looked five to be learning Hindu. "I need to understand Hindu if I want to read the _Bhagavad Gita_ – Uncle Jasper has recommended it as being a very insightful book."

"Uh-uh," was Jacob's only reply, as he took the menu back into his hands. "Sounds cool… how are you getting along?"

"Very well. My photographic memory is useful when trying to memorise a dictionary."

"You're memorizing a – You know what, nevermind. Maybe you can teach me sometime?" he said with a lopsided grin. "Do you know what you're going to eat?" I nodded and he called the waitress over. As he recited his order, I watched her eyes get impossibly wider with each item he called out – this was always amusing when I went out to eat with Jacob. I added my cheeseburger and fries to his massive order before she scurried off.

"Mother said you're working now," I started and he smiled as he realized that we were easing into a conversation that was his territory.

"Yep, I'm working for – he owns a repair shop in La Push and he needed someone to help him out. I'm hoping by the time he retires he'll trust me enough to sell me his business."

"Will you have time to study?"

"Study? Why would I want to do that?"

I scrunched my face up in confusion. "Why wouldn't you want to study? Become a doctor or a scientist or something."

"Huh, I guess I never considered that," he said, stroking his chin in contemplation. "I always assumed my life would be here, in La Push, not at some fancy university in some other state."

I was about to continue the discussion when the opening of the door caught Jacob's attention. He smiled wider and I turned around to see Leah Clearwater entering the diner. My heart skipped a beat: the she wolf had always been an enigma to me, I could never fully understand her or her demeanor. From what I could gather from the other wolves, Leah was as free-spirited and wild as it could get. That was a bit strange and foreign to me, as no one in family was that way, and she represented a concept that I could not wrap my head around.

Leah had sensed Jacob before she entered the diner, because she was making her way over to us without a second thought – her face was set into a small scowl as she made her way over. Everytime I'd seen Leah, her face had always been like that. A part of me wished to see her smile – she was pretty despite the scowl on her features, so I could only imagine how beautiful she looked when she smiled.

"Hey, Leah."

"Hey," she mumbled as she came to stand by our table. She crossed her arms over her chest and I soon realized that she was staring down at me.

"Hello," I croaked out, smiling slightly. My only response was a brusque nod before she turned her attention back to Jake.

"Are you going to move your fat ass or what?" she asked, glaring at the seat until Jacob moved over so she could slide in next to him.

"Wow, Leah, nice to see you too."

"Yeah, yeah cut the crap. I forgot to bring lunch to work and I'm starving… I hope you ordered, Jacob."

I looked at them and studied their behavior. I'd seen Jacob interacting with the other wolves but I'd never seen him with Leah. Her attitude and words were completely the opposite of what my mother and father had taught my about friendship and being nice, but Jacob didn't seem to mind that she was being rude and simply shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes when he realized that he would have to share his food.

"Babysitting?" she asked, looking at me pointedly.

"I don't require a babysitter –"

"I meant for him," she interrupted with a smug grin on her face, earning her an elbow to the stomach from Jacob. "Ow, you asshole."

"Leah, language! Reneesme is five years old," Jacob feigned anger but he couldn't help the smile that spread across his features. Leah mouthed 'five' in silence, as if she couldn't believe that that was the age that I was going with now. To some, it must have been really difficult and strange to keep track of my growth spurts. Both Jacob and I nodded and Leah's face seemed to pale slightly. I was well aware that from the wolf pack, Leah was one of the wolves that was most repulsed by me and my family.

"It's okay… Leah's vocabulary is very interesting. No one in my family talks like her in front of me."

"You're welcome, kid," she muttered, tapping her fingers against the table impatiently.

"How's the job going?" Jacob asked.

"You're working as well?" I asked, eager to find something to talk about with the she-wolf.

Leah's eyes narrowed and her lips pressed into a tight line. It was quite obvious she was restraining an outburst. "Yes, I'm _working_. Not everyone can spend eternity sitting on their sparkly asses all day doing nothing."

"Le-ahh, Nessie was only asking to be polite. Ness, don't take Leah too personally. She doesn't know how to speak to people – that's why she's working in the library," Jacob explained with a small grin and a glint to his eyes. I was starting to understand that the relationship between Leah and Jacob was based on a series of verbal jabs that they would throw at each other repeatedly until one of them got really mad.

Leah started muttering something under her breath which both of us couldn't hear, but she was soon silenced by the arrival of food at our table. They both started devouring the food Jacob had ordered, barely leaving time for conversation during eating. I just watched as they ate everything in sight, slowly nibbling on a French fry as they did so. Once their food was ready, they attacked mine, as they realized that I didn't intend on eating it at all – they weren't complaining, and neither was I.

After a few minutes, the waitress came by to check on us and was shocked to see that they'd actually eaten everything Jacob had ordered. She silently took the plates and cleared the table whilst a satisfied Leah and Jacob rubbed their bellies across from me.

I tried to keep up conversation with Jacob for the rest of our stay at the diner, whilst Leah just watched me curiously. The she-wolf had leaned back into the plastic seat and kept her eyes on me the whole time: I felt as though she was sizing me up, like I was prey, but I then deduced she was only trying to understand me, like I wanted to understand her. When the time came for us to pay for the food, I slipped Jacob the money my father had given me before we left the house so that he would be able to pay with it – it was a sort of thank you from the whole family for taking me out. Leah watched this exchange in shock and disgust slowly started marring her features before she abruptly stood from her seat and announced her departure.

"So, ladies, thanks for lunch, but I've gotta get back to work," and without waiting for a response from our part, she was gone. Both Jacob and I watched her leave the diner, her shoulder-length black her swaying with each confident step she took. As she walked, I couldn't help but think that the world seemed to be molded around Leah Clearwater and her existence: the nature of La Push seemed to bend and distort around her, the wind seemed to sway with her steps and the sun seemed to beat down on her the hardest.

I had to admit: I was slightly infatuated by her – mainly because she was so strange and weird and unique like me. I desperately wanted to know more.

I followed Jacob out of the diner and we drove down to First Beach where Quil and Claire were playing in the sand. I'd met Claire a handful of times before, when I looked younger and almost her age, and the human girl did not seem to mind that I aged a couple of years every few months – she played with me regardless. Jacob and Quil settled back on the sand, talking about some football game and some pack related business whilst I indulged Claire in one of her games and played along with her childish antics until it was time to go home.

Greeted by my parents and my family, I was very eager to get back to my reading. Only this time, I disposed of the Hindu dictionary and instead entered my grandfather's vast library, trailing my fingers along the thick leather tomes on the shelves. I no longer cared for the Bhagavad Gita… my focus was now trained on gaining more knowledge about wolves.


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 3_

 _Sam Uley_

 ** _Happy Ending_**

There was something about the rhythmic sounds that the wood cutter exuded that soothed my mind, sending me spiraling into a tranquil bliss that was, most of the times, extremely difficult to find. I trained my eyes on the fine lines I'd drawn on the wood cuts, making sure that the cutter was perfectly aligned with the markings before I moved it along the piece. This had to be perfect: anything I made for Emily had to be perfect, because she didn't deserve anything less.

The smell of food wafted into the shed I'd built in our back yard a while later, alerting me that it was dinner time in our small household. Clearing up the mess quickly, I made my way into the house: Emily was waiting for me at the table, the same smile on her precious face – an adoring look that never seemed to leave her features, even when it should. I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her to me, peppering her forehead with small kisses. She giggled into my chest, filling my heart with pure, unadulterated joy.

"Sam!" she gasped, her eyes shining brightly. "The food will get cold."

Never one to sacrifice my stomach and its needs, I gave her one final peck and made my way to the table, my hand still clasping hers in mine, leading her behind me. We ate in content silence, enjoying each other's presence. Emily described her day to me, and I informed her of any interesting stuff that happened at work. Conversation flowed easily: everything about us was effortless – that was the beauty of imprinting. We hadn't had an argument in ages; something inside the both us of seemed to steer us away from confrontation, instead opting for some form of peaceful resolve.

Sometimes, a part rooted deep inside of me missed the heated arguments that I'd have with …. I snapped out of my thoughts, blinking them away rapidly. I'd forbidden myself from thinking about her when Emily was around – it was unfair to her, and unfair to our relationship. When I wanted to think about her, to wallow in my self-pity for the small part of me that still craved that which I'd lost, I'd wander to the cliffs or into the woods and pace alone until I'd drain my mind of everything related to her and return back home.

I helped Emily clean up the table and wash the dishes – my wolf liked the ease with which Emily and I were establishing our home, our den so to speak. I could feel him pacing inside me, responding to my imprint's deep desires to solidify our relationship by taking it to the next step: he wanted it, and so did Emily. I could feel it bubbling inside me, like a pot of water left on a stove for too long – it seemed I couldn't contain the happiness within me, like the pores of my skin wanted to explode. After making sure that the entire kitchen was cleaned up, I gave Emily one final hug and wished her goodnight, kissing her firmly on the lips before I set off for patrol.

I was still a bit early, but I liked phasing in first, before my assigned partner, to get my bearings and re-orientate myself with my surroundings. Something within my wolf still had this desire to establish control over every situation – that was the Alpha within me acting, but we were both accepting that two Alphas was not the way to go. I'd been thinking about the unification of both packs under Jacob's leadership… after all, if I wanted to start a family, there was no place for me within the wolf pack. It was like there was an internal struggle within my body: two parts pulling away at each other.

It was more difficult than I'd anticipated to let go of him: sometimes it felt like I was thinking about cutting an arm off – my wolf was, after all, something ingrained into my soul. It was he who had brought me to Emily, I had so much to thank him for…

I started to run at a leisurely pace, enjoying the cool evening breeze – the sun was still taking its last few licks at the horizon before it was to disappear completely and I relished the last few traces of sunlight throughout the forest. I never strayed too far from the tree line, camouflaging myself within the colours of the trees, weaving in and out of bushes and saplings and the larger trees in my path. I passed by Jared's house, picking up the two heartbeats within the house, fluttering whenever they made contact with each other. I pressed on, unwilling to intrude upon their personal, intimate moments, focusing my ears on what was going on in the forest rather than in the tiny house I'd just passed. Everything passed in a blur – I chose not to see everything, focusing only on the patrol trail rather than everything that was found along it.

The silence of the pack mind when I phased in alone was both comforting, and yet simultaneously disconcerting – I suppose it was a sign of what I was to experience when I was going to stop phasing: we were, after all, wolves. We were pack creatures, not made to live singular lives, but at some point, I had to stop – Emily couldn't keep aging whilst I remained frozen in my youth. I couldn't let her slip through my fingers.

As my thoughts succumbed to the joy that was Emily in my life, my snout picked up a familiar scent, alone, accompanied by a beating heart, each thump more thunderous than the next. I slowed to a stop, letting myself be encased in the scent that'd caught my attention.

It was _her_. Her lovely aroma was something I could not easily forget, and the part of me that was so intricately attached to Emily fought against the feeling of nostalgia that washed over me. Alone, in the presence of Leah Clearwater, I couldn't push her away. Emily was not here to remind me of what I'd gained from this life.

I sat back on my haunches, masked by the thick underbrush, shielding myself from her view. She'd probably sensed me, but didn't seem to register my presence. She was walking up the road, a couple of grocery bags in each hand – she didn't seem troubled by the weight of them, managing perfectly fine with the added load. Her chin-length hair was pulled back in a small ponytail, several loose strands falling free to beat against her pretty face. She wasn't wearing her usual small shorts and tattered t-shirt – I'd gotten used to seeing her in shit clothes all the time. Seeing her dressed up in something that seemed so _normal_ was refreshing – even if it was just jeans and a sweater. She trudged on, her mind seemingly elsewhere.

I'd seen that look on her face countless times: that faraway gaze, in which her eyes – her beautiful, hazel eyes – glazed over as she let herself be dragged into her deepest desires and dreams. She was thinking, dreaming … She'd dreamed of us, of our life, maybe a family that we'd have together. What was she dreaming of now?

 _She's not yours_.

But I couldn't help it. The wolf spirit had deemed Leah unsuitable for me, had brought me to her cousin, had made me do unspeakable, horrible things to Leah – a once smiling, beautiful girl. I'd turned her into _this_ … this was the shell of the person she had once been. My heart constricted, my breath catching in my throat.

Even holding Emily and rocking her to sleep each night, surrounded in her love and beauty and adoration was not enough to eradicate the guilt that weighed heavy on my heart. What I still felt for Leah could not be love… no, that was only reserved for my Emily… but there was something still there. She remained an unfinished chapter in my life, a loose end that I could not tie down. We both needed the closure somehow – being in each other's heads after the whole disaster had not been healthy for the both of us. But losing her… losing her to Jacob Black and his pack of renegades, had hurt more than having her painful thoughts in my head – the rejection stung, the pain of being discarded for another wolf, stronger, more powerful than my own.

Her face was set in a small scowl, her lips tight and her jaw set. And she was still so beautiful. The sun kissed her head softly, making her glow in the evening light, her strong frame dominating the landscape around her. She still took my breath away, sometimes.

A rumbling car in the distance tore my gaze away from her walking form, and she stopped walking, tilting her head back towards the approaching sound. The sound was unmistakable all over the reservation: Jacob Black's Rabbit.

I watched as Jacob pulled the Rabbit over to the side of the curb, stopping beside her. I could hear the encounter clearly.

"Hey there," he said, as he grinned at her from the window of his car.

She glared back down at him, shifting her weight slightly. "What do you want, Jacob?"

"Just offering a good friend a hand," he explained, getting out of the Rabbit and reaching for the bags in her hands.

"I don't need-"

"Shut up," he growled playfully, tugging at the bags until she let go, crossing her arms over her chest in defiance. I knew Leah – she hated chivalry and being treated like a rag doll. She had these very clear ideas of how men should act around her, and these didn't include being spoiled. But I watched on, as she stared after Jacob's form as he threw the bags in the back of the car, and I could see, even from afar, that her mouth was twitching at the corner, stifling back some sort of smile.

She was smiling?

"Oh, come on Leah, just get in the car already. Sue invited me over for dinner, remember?" He walked back over to her, casually slinging an arm around her shoulder. My eyes widened in surprise of their own accord. I'd never seen this sort of interaction between them. Leah was still stiff, arms crossed defensively, not giving into Jacob's embrace, but Jacob seemed unperturbed by her demeanor, leaning against her until she had to push against him to keep her balance.

Was it the close proximity of their bodies that irritated me the most?

Or the fact that even as she was pushing him away, they seemed to get impossibly closer and closer…

"Fine. You put the bags in the car, you take the bags out of the car, got it?" she ordered, as she slid out from under his arm and made her way to the passenger side.

Jacob grinned and climbed into the car, the grin not leaving his face even as they drove away from my sight.

-:-

Were they friends?

More than friends?

Should I warn her? Warn _him_? He was an imprinted wolf. She was Leah – she'd eat him alive. He was no match for her. He was just a boy.

This is what I kept trying to convince myself as I walked towards Old Quil's home, where the Elders and Jacob himself would be waiting for me for the meeting I'd convened. It was also a feeble attempt to soothe my wolf – being in such close proximity to another Alpha made him restless, especially the rightful Alpha.

"Sam," Billy Black nodded as I walked into the room. Sue Clearwater was passing around cups of coffee and tea and Jacob was lounged casually on one of the chairs they'd brought out for him, eyeing me as I sat opposite him.

"Thanks, Sue," I mumbled as I took the cup she'd offered. I could see the slight distaste in her eyes: I had, after all, hurt her daughter. And even before that, no one had been worthy of Leah in Sue's eyes.

Silence engulfed the room as everyone adjusted to the situation.

"Sam, you called this meeting. I take it you want to speak to us about something?" Old Quil's voice rumbled, his eyes trained on my face, making my wolf squirm.

"Yes. The younger wolves have kept up their streak of not phasing, and it's been two months since they've last phased. They still show characteristics of being wolves: their temperature is still abnormally hot and their healing abilities are still supernaturally fast, so we must keep waiting until these change to confirm that the process is complete."

The Elders nodded in approval at my words, whilst Jacob was still staring at me. I could see him, from the corner of my eye: I guess he was trying to stare me down into submission… he had no need for that.

"I am also here because I think it is time to unite the packs."

Sue's mouth tightened, and Billy leaned back into his wheelchair. Sue was not happy: she knew what this meant, and knew that Leah would never agree to being in the same pack as me again.

"Two Alphas within the same reservation does not work and has lead to several rifts and arguments breaking out between our wolves. This has to stop. We are one pack. I am willing to unite the packs… under Jacob's leadership."

If Jacob was surprised at my offer, he did not show it. He held my gaze, his features not betraying his emotions.

Sue shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "What do you think, Jacob? Are you ready to take on the entire pack?"

Jacob looked away from me, and levelled his gaze with each of the Elders slowly before clearing his throat. I was surprised at his reaction and his demeanor. I'd expected him to storm off, angry and moody as always.

"I am willing, but we must tackle this slowly. We should not rush into anything: pack dynamics are very delicate and we don't want to disturb the wolves. We're only just getting back to normal again. Sam can relinquish the pack as he sees fit, but the younger wolves should be kept out of this. Sam, you will remain their Alpha until they stop phasing – changing packs and pack dynamics while they are trying to stop phasing will ruin the progress they've achieved so far."

"I agree," Old Quil announced. "This should have happened a long time ago. There is no space for two Alphas in La Push. Sam, is there a position you wish to take up within the new pack?"

"Actually…," I deliberated for a short while, debating on how to approach this matter. "I feel I have no place in the new pack. My time as a wolf is running out, I have served our people to the best of my abilities, but I feel that it is now time for me to move on. Once the younger wolves stop phasing, I will begin the process myself, and leave the pack, hopefully within the near future. Emily and I wish to start a family."

Sue and Jacob tensed at my words: my stomach rolled as I realized that they were gauging the meaning of my words and their implications, and how this would break Leah. But even they knew that I could not be denied this.

"Very well," Billy stated, reaching a hand out for me to shake. "We thank you, Sam, for the work you've done for the pack. We appreciate the sacrifices you have made and wish you well on your new life."

I smiled, and shook the hands of each of the Elders, before turning to Jacob. He was still sitting there, arms crossed defensively over his chest. Was he worried that I was going to hurt his she-wolf? Was he scared that this added responsibility was going to tear him down? Could he take it?

I looked at him, really looked at him for the first time in a long while. Jacob was now taller than me, taller than anyone on the reservation, and had acquired an air about him that commanded respect and loyalty. He was, after all, Billy Black's son. His face was far beyond his actual years – the light stubble on his chin making him seem even older. But it was his eyes – his steely, determined eyes – that convinced me. Jacob was a stubborn boy – he'd achieve anything he set his mind to, and if his mind was set on uniting the packs, then unite them he would.

He was no longer the scared, hormonal kid who chased after Bella Swan – somewhere along the line, he'd crossed the line from boyhood into manhood and was shaping himself into a leader. My wolf whimpered as I held my hand out, a sign of my submission to Jacob, and as he clutched my hand in his palm, I could feel the ties I held to my pack members slowly slipping away.

-:-

The two lone figures on the beach caught my attention as I was making my way back home after the meeting. Jacob had left before I had, and I'd stayed behind to chat with Billy and Old Quil – Sue had left too, visibly worried by my announcement. Could her daughter take this news?

If they'd sensed me, they didn't show it, as they kept talking as they had been before I passed. Jacob and Leah were sitting side by side on the sand, a reasonable distance still set between them. Both were staring out at the ocean, watching the waves as they licked at their bare toes.

It only seemed logical that the Alpha would take Leah and comfort her at this news: she wouldn't like it, and would obviously need support to get through it. And yet, I couldn't get over the slight jealousy that coursed through my veins as I watched him comfort her with his words.

"It's going to be okay, Leah."

"No, it's not," she whispered. The sadness in her voice was painful to listen to, and the way her breath was catching her throat told me that she was on the verge of crying, and was fully restraining herself. But what I thought was sadness soon turned into… happiness? She turned to face him and, against the light of the moon, her face was graced with a beautiful smile.

Had she ever looked so gorgeous?

"Jacob, I get to let them go. This is it. This is my closure. It's not going to be easy, but it needed to be done."

A tentative smile played about Jacob's lips, before he slung an arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his side. At first, she resisted, but she eventually gave in, succumbing to the comforts that only her Alpha could provide.

I walked away then, towards my home, towards my beloved Emily. I'd been worried about how Leah would take it: would she be mad that I was living the life I'd planned with her, without her? As I walked home, I realized that all my worries had been for nothing: Leah would be well cared for this time: Sue, Seth, Jacob… she was in good hands.

-:-

I stood at the lip of the woods just behind my house. Emily stood by my side, her hand resting softly on my forearm in support.

This was it. It had been four months since the younger wolves had phased, and they'd finally lost their high temperature. One of them cut himself last week by accident, and for the first time in a while, had to get stitches.

When I'd told the Elders, they'd accepted that the younger ones were no longer wolves. And with their acceptance came my opportunity to leave this life behind me. It was now time to say goodbye – I was no longer Alpha – no more wolves were tied to me, and Jacob Black had proven himself in uniting the packs. I was no longer needed: Sam Uley was free to leave.

Emily stepped away, giving me the space I needed to phase. I felt the usual tremors rip through my body, transforming me for one final time. I landed on four paws, and took off in a sprint, weaving through the trees that I'd come to call home. This was the last time I'd get to protect my reservation, and the other wolves had agreed to let me patrol alone, in silence, to reminisce. I'd come a long way … I'd grown and matured as I'd learned to care these wolves that I called my brothers. We'd laughed, and loved, and fought, and protected each other over these years. There was a beauty in this that I could never forget.

I thought of each of my pack brothers, and then I thought of Leah, of how this life had changed us – the spirits had given me my happy ending – a far better one than I actually deserved – and, as I ran back towards my home to phase back and leave this life behind me forever, I hoped that they would give Leah her own happiness as well.


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter 5_

 _Bella Cullen_

As Edward and I were returning to the main house after a night in our cottage, his face seemed to pull back into a tight, restrained mask. His bright, amber eyes dimmed slightly and I clutched his hand tighter in mine, in question. He turned to face me, a small smile gracing his lips.

"The sun's coming out," he announced. I glanced up towards the sky, watching as the grey, ominous clouds that had gathered overnight and pelted the forest floor with heavy rain were retreating and giving way to the sun – we both knew it was not going to be a blue-sky kind of day, but nevertheless, the presence of the sun meant that we would probably get to spend less time with our little Reneesme throughout the day. Edward knew that calling on Jacob to take Reneesme out was not my most favourite thing to do – it reminded me of the limitations I had as a parent, reminded me that this life was not as perfect as I'd initially thought it to be.

What kind of mother can't talk her child out on a sunny day? I felt guilty restricting Reneesme to the confines of our homes whenever the weather was nice enough to stop raining, but there was nothing else we could do. Rosalie made it clear that she did not approve of using Jacob as a substitute on nice days, because she argued this would make Reneesme associate beautiful days with Jacob, and she was not ready to be replaced by a stinky shapeshifter, even though said shapeshifter was my daughter's imprint.

"Maybe she won't _want_ to go out today," I mumbled as we walked on, getting closer to the house. It was foolish of me to hope that a two year old who looked like an eight year old would not want to go out and play, but a part of me hoped that my daughter would want to spend time with her parents instead, regardless of the weather.

I'd been struggling with this part of parenting – sure, Reneesme had not been a fussy child to begin with; it didn't take much expertise from my part to raise her, she was pretty much doing everything on her own a few months after her birth. I sometimes felt that I was meant to simply guide her, and impart some human knowledge onto her whenever she felt the need to ask… I couldn't really call myself a mother. Reneesme herself sometimes referred to Alice, Rosalie and Esme as her other mothers, and if my heart were still beating, that would have really hurt – but I couldn't argue otherwise. Rosalie loved her like her own daughter, and Esme too. In some aspects, she was blessed to be loved so much, but sometimes, I just wanted her to myself – I didn't want to have to share her all the time, with my family _and_ with Jacob.

We reached the house a while later, choosing to walk at a human pace rather than at vampire speed – what was the rush, really? We literally had all the time in the world. Rosalie was in the kitchen preparing breakfast for Reneesme – she greeted me with a scowl.

"I suppose we'll have to call the mutt today," she grumbled, her melodic voice tainted with jealousy. "She'll want to go out today."

"Oh, Rose, let's ask her first, let's not make any assumptions," I argued, slipping onto one of the kitchen stools, watching as she went along preparing breakfast. I could tell that Esme and Carlisle were not at home – they were probably out hunting; Alice and Jasper were upstairs and Emmett was in the living room, now joined by Edward. Reneesme was upstairs sleeping in Edward's old room, her slow, steady breaths a soothing sound reverberating throughout the whole house. Her heartbeat was like the ticking of a watch to us, a rhythm we arranged our lives around.

"What day is it today?" I asked suddenly. Something at the back of my mind had reminded me that Jacob was nowadays no longer constantly available to meet up with Reneesme – he had a _job_. I'd gotten used to calling him whenever necessary and asking him to come over to take Reneesme out, but this had taken some getting used to. Reneesme seemed to understand and she didn't mind that Jacob was no longer always there – his presence used to confuse her, but now, a year later, she'd seemed to accept that Jacob simply just _was_ there sometimes.

"Saturday," Rosalie stated simply, piling food onto a plate and making her way upstairs – I didn't follow, allowing Rosalie some private time with my daughter. There was a common understanding between us – if I allowed Rosalie to dote on Reneesme without interfering, she respected my role as her mother – we'd never argued over my daughter's wellbeing, and she never complained when we took Reneesme away with us for a few days, but I could tell that Rosalie's frozen heart would break slightly every time we pulled her away – a reminder of the daughter that is not really hers. I joined Edward in the living room as Emmett played some strategic game on the large flat screen on the other side of the room.

Sometimes, the days would get incredibly boring. Edward occupied this time with his composing and playing the piano, but I had yet to find a hobby that would soothe me for the rest of eternity. We'd agreed to take a few years away from school for now, until Reneesme stopped ageing, and then we'd start considering our options. I knew that, eventually, we'd have to move away – somewhere cold and dull and dark like Forks, but it was inevitable.

Rosalie's soft voice reached us as she woke Reneesme from her sleep. The girl never complained when she got to sleep over at Grandma Esme's house – and somewhere at the back of my mind I knew, to my deepest horror, that my two year old understood _why_ her father and I left her for sleepovers, she just never acknowledged this fact. She was incredibly perceptive and intelligent, and while her knowledge amazed me, I sometimes wished she would slow down and be an eight year old and do what eight year olds do. Instead, my daughter was researching wolves, and had been doing so for the past year.

This research consumed her: every moment she could, she would weave through Carlisle's library, looking for books and searching the internet for whatever she could find. Jacob even let her analyse his wolf form once, much to our shock, but she'd insisted it was a part of her mission to understand the wolf pack of La Push – I didn't ask why she was doing this, I pretty much left her to her own devices most of the time, afraid to admit that my two year old daughter was far more intelligent than I would ever be.

Rosalie was coaxing Reneesme out of bed, and I could hear her as she munched on her breakfast – she'd gotten used to eating human food now, and was not as disgusted by it as she used to be. This gave Esme an excuse to experiment with more recipes and food, much to Jacob's joy.

Soon, she was bounding down the stairs with a small notebook, pencil and stack of papers in tow.

"Good morning mom," she sang as she planted a warm kiss against my cheek, "good morning dad."

"Hey, kiddo," Emmett greeted, never tearing his eyes away from the TV screen.

"Hey," she replied curtly, dancing over to the coffee table in front of the sofa and settling down in front of us, separating the stack of papers into neat piles methodically.

"What are you up to, sweetie?" Edward asked, walking over to her and settling down behind her, his legs splayed out on either side of her small frame. Looking at them like that, two heads of bronze locks resting against each other, I felt pride swell deep within me – my family. They were mine. For an eight year old, she was lithe and small, Alice called her _petite_ , with big doe eyes that were my own, once upon a time, and rosy cheeks. I couldn't imagine what she would look like next to Jacob and his huge, bulky frame, when she was old enough to…

I shuddered. Sometimes I couldn't help my mind from wandering to when Reneesme would be old enough to accept Jake's imprint. It was strange to know my daughter's future husband when she was so young, and to ease the Edward and I's burden, Jacob had set up a few ground rules that the whole family had to follow when it came to Reneesme and the topic of imprinting.

She didn't even know what imprinting was – well, she'd heard about it and seen it through Quil and Claire, but she'd never seemed to make the same correlation between herself and Jacob. He'd insisted that she didn't need to know yet, and he'd tell her when he thought she was old enough to understand and make her own decision. _I_ thought she was already old enough – I was certain that she would be able to grasp a concept even as abstract as imprinting – but Edward wanted us to respect Jacob's decision. By doing so, we were retaining as much of Reneesme's innocence as we could.

So we played along with the ruse; Jacob came to visit us on the sole pretense that he was my friend, and not to soothe the ache in his chest from being away from Reneesme for too long.

A rumbling sound coming up the long drive towards the house alerted us of Jacob's incoming presence. Saturday meant that Jacob was off work, and whenever he was not working or dealing with pack stuff, Jake generally tried to come over as much as he could. His unannounced arrival was not shocking in the least. The sound of two heartbeats meant that he was also not alone in his visit.

A few minutes later, Jacob and Seth barreled through the front door, not bothering to knock. Rosalie hated this sort of behavior – she insisted they were a bad influence on Reneesme. Reneesme herself, however, couldn't disagree more.

"Jake! Seth!" she greeted them with a huge smile, her face glowing with happiness.

"Aww, Emmett, I didn't know you got the new Play Station," Seth drawled out, jumping over the back of the couch and ruffling Reneesme's hair. "Hey, kid, what are you up to today?"

Jacob seated himself directly opposite Reneesme, taking up one of Emmett's free controllers and connecting to the game. Whenever he came over, he made sure that he was not too personal with my daughter, always trying to keep a respectful distance, as much as possible.

"I'm researching about wolves."

Jacob smirked, "God, you're still doing that, Nessie? It's been almost a year now."

"I'm not done yet," she announced, scribbling in her little notebook furiously. "I'm going to show you want I find when I'm ready so I want to do the best possible work I can."

"I _love_ animals," Seth said as he tapped away at the buttons on the controller in his hand, focused intently on what was going on the screen. "Maybe I can help you with your research some time, Nessie. Don't you think that would be cool?"

She nodded vigorously. "Lots."

My daughter was respectful and polite when she was with us, but whenever one of the wolves was around, she became a carefree little girl – as she _should_ be all of the time. I attributed this behavior to the fact that, most of the time, Seth and Jacob were less mature than Reneesme was herself, and they simply fuelled the child within her.

"It's a bit sunny outside today," I announced, but Jacob and Seth didn't seem to register my words. I cleared my throat and Jacob's eyes darted quickly to me and then back to the screen again.

"Do you want to go out, Nessie?" he asked, catching onto my intent.

Reneesme shrugged, not lifting her gaze from the notebook. "I don't mind, really."

Both Jacob and Seth grunted in response, resuming their game with Emmett. I rolled my eyes and went off, in search of a book I could read to fill up the time.

-:-

It was a few hours later when Seth and Jacob actually managed to convince Reneesme to leave the house with them, and they only managed to get her as far as the back yard. I sometimes worried for the girl – she enjoyed the indoors way too much, and since she didn't go out hunting herself most of the time, we worried she might have some sort of stunted growth due to lack of exercise. So, I encouraged Jacob to _make_ her exercise as much as she could.

I tried not to hover, but sometimes I couldn't help it. The main house had a huge back yard, gently sloping until it reached the lip of the woods. Our cottage was not visible from here, so Jacob and Seth stayed well within my view as they ran laps around Nessie and she chased them. They'd both changed into their wolf form and were running around, making her laugh and giggle as she tried to get on their backs. They taunted and teased her but she didn't seem to mind – it was a strange sight, a young porcelain girl with two oversized dogs prancing around in our back yard.

Alice had taught her some gymnastics: Reneesme could do a few cartwheels and flips in the air, but none of the rest of us had wanted to teach her how to hunt or defend herself. We always figured we'd be there to protect her – Edward had taken a lot of convincing to actually train _me_ , let alone our daughter. I watched her as she showed off her new skills to the two wolves: a single cartwheel followed by one, neat front flip in the air. The two wolves yipped in congratulations, and she bowed before them, the little show girl that she was.

The smaller wolf, Seth, suddenly perked up, and I followed his line of sight, towards the tree line, where a slender, silver wolf was emerging from between the trees. Reneesme hadn't caught sight of the new wolf yet, and I watched as the wolf shimmered slightly, being replaced by the nimble body of a tall girl just beyond the tree line. I recognized her as being Leah Clearwater – her presence was not altogether foreign at this house, as she sometimes stopped by whenever she needed a lift from Jacob to get to someplace she needed to go, or simply when she had nothing else to do and followed her brother up to the house for some good food, courtesy of Esme. She slipped on a light dress before she made her way over to the two wolves.

Reneesme saw her making her way to them, and she tried to hide a small smile as she saw her coming over. I realized I'd never seen my daughter interact with Leah before, and I was interested to see what she'd do.

"Hey, you idiot, I've been looking for you all over the place," she growled as she pointed a single, slender finger at her brother. She'd completely disregarded my daughter's presence, but Reneesme still seemed to be in awe of her.

Jacob nudged Seth with his huge muzzle, and they loped off, behind some trees close by to phase. Leah watched them retreat with narrowed eyes, before she turned to face Reneesme.

"How are you, kid?"

"I'm good," she replied, smiling brightly. Something inside me recognized Reneesme's demeanour – it was the behavior of a young girl trying to impress someone. Why would my daughter want to impress Leah? "I was showing Jacob and Seth my cartwheels. Aunt Alice taught me how to do them last week."

"Cool, I used to love gymnastics," Leah replied as she sat down on the grass next to Reneesme so that they were at eye level. Her face was devoid of any smiles, but she did seem genuinely interested in her.

Jacob and Seth joined them, settling down on the cool lawn, earning a glare from Leah.

"Like I was saying," she continued, "I've been all over the reservation this morning looking for your sorry ass. Let's just say it's not the best way to start off your weekend, so I'd appreciate it if you left a note or something, because believe me, waking up on a Saturday morning to mom going bat shit crazy because she can't find you is definitely not cool."

I winced at every curse word that fell out of Leah's mouth. With us, there was a common agreement that we weren't to curse in front of Reneesme, and Emmett found it the hardest to deal with this, and I knew that Jacob knew about this agreement – so I couldn't, for the life of me, understand why he was not stopping Leah. He just sat there, grinning at the two fighting siblings, leaning back on his elbows – Reneesme watched them with him in silent awe. As I saw how she was looking at them, I realized that she had never seen people argue in our family before; the whole idea was a bit foreign to her.

"Ok, just chill out for a bit… God, Lee, you are such a drama queen," Seth muttered, and even though I could not see his face, I imagined him rolling his eyes at her – whatever he did, it seemed to aggravate his sister even more, and Leah tackled him without pause. She threw herself onto her little brother and they wrestled around on the grass, Seth's laughs echoing all the way back to the house. Reneesme grinned and I could see that Jacob was biding his time until he finally sat up and ordered them to stop. It wasn't an Alpha command, but the deep timbre of Jacob's voice seemed to send thrills up and down their spines. Leah stepped away from her brother and settled down on the grass alone.

But after this entire exchange, I couldn't help but notice that my daughter seemed very… intrigued.

"What are you thinking about, Ness?" Jacob asked, and she reached over and pressed her small palm to his face. "Oh," he chuckled and turned to face Leah, "she wants to ask you a favour."

"Yeah?" Leah seemed unamused by the fact that Reneesme wanted something from her, and shrugged her shoulders. "Shoot, kid."

Reneesme scuffed her boots against the perfectly clipped lawn, eyes downcast as if she was afraid of Leah – she probably _was_ afraid of Leah. "Can you teach me how to play-fight like that? Jacob and Seth are far too rough to do that with me and my aunts and uncles will definitely not want to do that in case they'd hurt me…"

Leah's brows shot up in surprise. "Uhh…. You can't really teach that stuff, y'know? It just comes with having a little brother or sister…"

"Yeah, Ness. It's not something you learn. It's just a defense mechanism that you pick up when your sister has been bullying you for the past seventeen years of your – Ow!" Leah's fist colliding with Seth's shoulder made a dull sound that effectively shut him up. Reneesme's face had fallen, seemingly dejected at the fact that Leah had not wanted to help her learn something new. Jacob seemed to have picked up on my daughter's demeanor, as he kicked Leah's knee slightly, grabbing her attention.

She worked at her lip for a few minutes before she sighed and rolled her shoulders. "Hey, uh, Ness… we can go for a run if you want, though."

"Really?"

"Yep, come on." Leah stood up, brushing the dirt off the back of her dress. The boys followed suit and went off to phase into their wolf forms, but Leah remained with my daughter, walking with her towards the lip of the woods. Reneesme followed her, dancing around her tall, regal form, so happy and elated at being allowed into one of the wolves' activities. As she retreated, I caught something on my daughter's face that I'd never seen before… it was a certain look of awe and admiration solely directed towards beautiful Leah Clearwater – a pang of jealousy resounded throughout me as I realized that my daughter had found a hero in the most unlikely of places.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Jacob Black

"You sure you don't want anything for lunch?" Mr Owens asked from the edge of the garage door, one hand resting against the frame and the other twirling his car keys around in the air.

I shrugged as I wiped my grubby hands on a piece of cloth. "Yeah, yeah, don't worry about me. I'll see you later."

With a gruff nod, he left off and as soon as his car rumbled away, I settled down in one of the chairs, relaxing slightly. I didn't mind having him around me all the time, but he did have a really bad habit of hovering whenever I worked on something myself. It had been over a year since I'd started working for him, and he still couldn't find it in himself to trust me completely – his heart was tied strongly to the small business he'd worked all his life to set up, but none of his kids had been interested in the family business, and had gone off into the world in search of better jobs away from the reservation – I was his only choice if he wanted to save the business, and he'd taken me up on my offer immediately, too proud to let Owens' Garage go to waste.

He liked me – I'd always been good with my hands, and had a knack for cars, so his mentoring sessions were easy for me to pick up, and we got along nicely – he treated me like one of his sons and his wife usually sent me food and small presents, as her way of saying thank you. Owens was a good man, with a gentle heart and I could see it in his eyes, every time he looked at me, a small pang of hurt and longing for the children he'd lost to the big wide world. Apart from that, he was _really_ proud to take Billy Black's son under his wing – it was no small feat to be training the future chief of La Push, after all.

I settled down for a small break, flicking through my phone with my clean hand, enjoying the silence left by Owens' absence – he could blather on for hours, and this was coming from myself. I liked the conversations he had with me; he usually told me about the reservation back in the good old days, reminiscing about the past when he was still a young man like myself, trying to establish himself in the world. I liked hearing about this stuff, it gave me a good understanding about what life was like before us, before my pack and before vampires. It was a reminder of how good and simple and beautiful life could be in La Push, how we could make it so again. He told me stories of my dad when he was younger, and my mom… of Sue and Harry Clearwater and all the other adults when they were our age…

I was snapped out of my thoughts by a car braking to a stop just outside the garage. I recognized the piece of shit on wheels as Quil's poor excuse for a vehicle, and I stepped outside to greet him. He remained in the car, pulling the window down to speak to me over the passenger seat.

"Hey Jake."

"What's up, Quil?" I asked, resting my elbows on the passenger door. Quil seemed a bit … off. His eyes were darting all over my face and he seemed extremely restless and unsure – quite unlike his usual cocky self.

"Uh, could we meet up, later today? I need to talk to you about something," he said in a low voice, eyes trained on the windscreen before him, fingers drumming on the steering wheel impatiently. It was weird for Quil to be so standoffish.

"Yeah, sure. First Beach good for you?"

He nodded curtly, and allowed me a small smile. "See you later then, around ten?"

I rapped my knuckles twice against the side of the car in agreement, before he drove off, leaving me to stare after his retreating car. Something was definitely up with Quil, and I couldn't really put my finger on it. Ever since Sam had stopped phasing, most of the older wolves seemed to be on edge and agitated: first Jared, then Paul, but I'd never expected Quil to react in this way too… I'd always assumed Quil was perfectly content as a wolf, waiting out his years until Claire would come of age, and he'd never complained of anything. I could understand that Jared and Paul were eager to stop to catch up with their imprints, but what could possibly be making Quil agitated about this whole affair?

Shaking my head to rid myself of the thoughts, I decided to focus my attention on the work at hand, and deal with pack issues later on tonight, after Quil explained himself about what was going on.

-:-

Hugging my dad goodbye, I jogged out of the house slowly, taking my time to get to First Beach. The night was cool and the feel of the air against my skin was nice. A slight rustling of leaves within the forest alerted me of a wolf's presence: Leah was on patrol tonight. I caught a glimpse of silver between a couple of trees as she sped past, and the beating of her paws against the forest floor reverberated in my head until she was too far away for me to hear her.

All else was quiet – the light breeze rustled the trees softly, but no cars were present in the streets – La Push was a quiet place at night, but if you listened hard enough, you could hear the soft howls deep within the forest of the people who were protecting the reservation. Ever since Sam had relinquished his position as Alpha, a weight had been slipped onto my shoulders, a sense of responsibility I'd never really felt before. Being Alpha to a pack of three people was one thing, but taking on the entire pack was an entirely different story. Leah helped where she could – she was no longer resentful towards her existence as the only female wolf in the pack, and she'd seemed to accept her fate ( _finally_ ) – but the new found sense of responsibility was not just related to the pack, but also the reservation. My father had started lecturing me on the duties of the Chief of the tribe, and it had dawned on me that soon, I'd have to take on this role as well.

My dad was not going to be around forever, and he'd want to retire from his position to enjoy his old age as much as he could – so whenever I looked at the reservation nowadays, I saw my whole world, and all the lives of the people within it, who depended on me to keep them safe and stand up for their rights, in many ways they themselves could not even comprehend.

The smell of the ocean and sand at First Beach drew me out of my thoughts – it was one of the two scents I associated with home: the smell of the beach and that of the forest. They relaxed me, and brought peace to my often troubled mind. Quil was already there, sitting on the sand just in front of the waves as they slowly crashed against his bare feet. I made my way over to him and settled down next to him.

"Hey," I announced, eyeing him carefully.

"Hey, Jake, thanks for coming. I really appreciate it."

"It's no trouble at all." It really wasn't any trouble – it was my duty to make sure that all the members of the pack were happy and content. One troubled wolf spelled trouble for the entire pack and I had to be careful. "So… what's this about then?"

Quil's brows knitted together, his thick hands kneading at the sand beneath him for distraction. I was about to push him to tell me what was going on, but thought better of it and held back, deciding to give him his space to tell me what was wrong.

"Okay so… don't be mad okay? So, you know how Embry and I started working with a construction company a while back, yeah? And lately we'd had a project down at the Makah reservation, so we were going there almost every day. It was just a few extension works to some small office down there, but while we were there, uhm, I guess … well, I met someone."

I couldn't help the surprised look that crossed my features – I tried to hold back but I couldn't. From all the possibilities that had been going through my head all day long, I hadn't expected this. Quil was an imprinted wolf, and had been one of the first of us to imprint… he was so attached to little Claire …

"Oh," was all I managed to say – I wanted to kick myself for being so unsupportive, but I was so shocked that I was still reeling from the news.

"Yeah, her name is Chele. She works at the office we were working on. She's a secretary there – really cute, sweet. She'd come by to offer us coffee while we worked and she'd just sit there sometimes and chit chat with us, keeping us company. Yesterday was our last day working there and I worked up the balls to ask her out on a date… she said yes. I'm meeting her tomorrow for dinner." All of this spilled out of him in a rush – the way he was acting made me feel like he was ashamed of himself, or afraid of how I would react. I was silent for a while, trying to arrange the thoughts in my head before I spoke.

"That's good, Quil, I'm happy for you buddy… uhm, but, well, you know. I sort of have to ask you this… what about Claire?"

He nodded. "I know, it's weird. I mean, I've been imprinted on Claire for so long now, and she's become such an important part of my life and I can't imagine my life without her … but I can't imagine my life with _just_ her. Sam met Emily when they were both adults, and Jared and Kim, and Paul and Rachel – it's different meeting someone like that and falling in love, as opposed to my situation, where I met her and babysat her and changed her diapers. It's… I find it really hard to imagine myself falling in love with her. I can't waste twenty years of my life waiting for her to grow up, losing out on all the good times with you guys, and suddenly becoming twenty years younger than Paul and Jared and Sam… I can't just let my life slip away like that.

"Claire will always be a part of my life, she's my imprint. But she can't be all that my life is going to be – I know there's more to it than just her, and I'm going to give it a shot with Chele. It may not work out, or it may. It makes no difference to me. But I have to try, I have to have a choice. I'm still imprinted on her, if that's what you're asking… I've just decided that I can have a life apart from her. I'm sure her mom is going to be thrilled," he said with a small chuckle.

I knew Quil had a point – it was weird that his imprint was a four year old, and all of us knew that. Hell, Leah sometimes called him a pedophile (I tried to make her stop), but it was something we all silently agreed upon – no one could understand Quil's imprint or why it existed. Sam's, Jared's and Paul's imprints gave them the loves of their lives, but Quil's imprint gave him a little sister, or someone more like a daughter than a lover. The Elders had just assumed that Claire was Quil's soulmate, born a bit too late for him, but it was the spirits' way of giving him a chance to meet her – but it was unnatural for him to become attached to a little girl… much like myself.

Something snapped inside me – a string that had been pulled taut ever since Reneesme had been born. For the past two years I'd been bombarded with thoughts of her, and plagued with the possibility of her growing up and falling and love with me – would I be able to forget the little girl she was now, a few years from now? Could I take her as a lover? Did I _want_ to? I shuddered at these thoughts, feeling sick to my stomach because Nessie was just a two year old in an eight year old's body. I couldn't think of these things without realizing how _wrong_ all of this was.

And Quil was here, ready to prove the spirits and the Elders wrong, all for the sake of a dinner date with this foreign woman.

I grinned at him, wrapping an arm around his neck and pulling him into a head lock. "I see you're back to your old days then, huh?"

He laughed. "Oh yeah, the Quil Ateara Dating Train is back on track." We both laughed and I released him from my hold. This was something really big – I didn't know if Quil realized it, realized the magnitude of his actions and what effects they would have on the rest of the pack, but I did, and it sent a cold ripple along the length of my spine.

This could change everything.

"So, you're okay with all this?"

I knew what he meant by this question – he understood that him dating with a young imprint would open up so many new doors for me, doors I hadn't even knew existed before. I nodded.

"I am on board – I'm supporting you fully, Quil," I said, in the most reassuring voice I could muster. I had to be a strong shoulder he could lean on… if he could do it, maybe I could do it, too? He grinned and his mood turned playful soon after that. We sat on the sand for a while longer, talking like the old friends we really were – it was nice to sit back and relax a bit before this new shit storm hit the whole pack – the imprints were _not_ going to be happy.

-:-

As Quil and I parted ways, I decided to take the route through the forest, hoping to meet up with Leah as I did so. I walked on, trying to pinpoint her location and she must have felt my presence closer to her in the forest, as she was soon barreling towards me, her form sleek and slender in the moonlight. I waited for her at a small clearing, settling down on a large rock, big enough for the two of us. She emerged from the trees, pulling on a short dress over her body before making her way over to the rock and settling down next to me.

She didn't seem alarmed at my presence so late in the night, especially since I wasn't supposed to be on patrol.

"Everything okay?" she asked, peering up at me, a small scowl gracing her features.

"There's… been a development."

Her brows shot up in surprise, and her eyes sparkled in interest. "Oh, really?" An evil grin played at the corners of her mouth – Leah wanted to seem like she was not interested in pack gossip, but we both knew that this could not have been farther from the truth – I'd caught her enough times with Sue in her mother's kitchen, whispering about this and that in the pack.

"Yep. I met up with Quil tonight, he came by during the day because he wanted to talk to me about some stuff. So we went down to First Beach to talk – just me and him. He seemed agitated and a bit worried, and he sort of reminded me of Jared and Paul way back when Sam stopped phasing. He started going on about how him and Embry started working construction with some company, and they were sent to the Makah reservation for some extension works and… get this: he _met_ someone."

Leah's face fell slightly, her mouth hanging open in shock. "As in, a _woman_?"

"Yeah, Lee, of course a woman. He said her name is Chele and she's really sweet and he's asked her out on a date tomorrow night – and she said yes."

She worried her bottom lip slightly, chewing at the soft skin – I could almost see the cogs in her brain working in overdrive, processing the information I'd just thrown at her. She had a right to know – she was the Beta of the pack, and I liked to keep her in the loop of things as much as possible. She respected that, and liked giving me her opinion about stuff, whether I wanted it or not. "What about Claire?"

"He said he's still imprinted – nothing's changed with her… but… oh, let's just phase and I'll show you what he said, it's better this way."

She nodded and followed me into the trees, stepping around some bushes to phase in private. I settled down, resting my head on my paws and she mimicked my stance, staring at me before I started replaying Quil's explanation to her. I watched the emotions flicker over her features, her eyes tightening whenever he said something that seemed to resonate with her. When I was done, she closed her eyes and we sat there in silence for a while.

 _That was… shocking._

 _Yeah, I know._

 _I never thought Quil had the balls to do that, really. Everyone just assumed that he'd put his life on hold to wait for Claire, but I guess we should have wondered what an eighteen year old would do for the next twenty years of his life until his imprint was of age. It's just fucked up that we'd think he'd want to spend the rest of his life with the kid whose diapers he changed. It's …_ she paused, realizing that she was essentially describing the existence we'd imagined for myself. It was true: ever since Reneesme had been born, all thoughts of dating had been thrown out the window – my sex life was inexistent. I didn't have time to think of this stuff because my thoughts were consumed with all things related to Nessie, but now Quil had changed everything. He'd redefined the entire game.

 _Jacob, just because Quil is doing it doesn't mean that you have to do it too. Every imprint is different – Quil wants to date, but you aren't obligated to do everything Quil does. This is going to wreak havoc on the other imprints – Rachel is going to lose her shit when she realizes that maybe Paul isn't really that tied to her, and I'm sure Emily and Kim aren't going to like it either. But for you and Quil, maybe it's a second chance at life – maybe imprinting isn't just about finding the love of your life… it could be something else entirely, I don't think we'll ever really know._

We contemplated her words in silence. Leah had this amazing ability to know exactly when to stop talking, and when to start, so her words and conversations with her always felt and seemed premeditated and perfectly planned out. There were never any awkward silences and lingering sentences in the air between us – Leah said what she needed to say and that was about it. So after a few minutes of sifting through each other's thoughts some more, I got up, bumped her shoulder playfully and started making my way back to the house.

 _Get back on patrol, Clearwater. No lollygagging on my watch_.

She barked playfully in response before she was off once again, like an arrow through the trees. Soon enough, I couldn't hear her anymore, just watch the forest fly by through her eyes. For her own sake, and my own, I phased back, allowing us the privacy we both needed after such a revelation.

In the silence of my small bedroom, I lay on the bed staring up at the ceiling. For Leah, the fact that Quil was dating was just another bullet in her anti-imprinting gun – I was sure she was overjoyed at the fact that Quil was taking matters into his own hands and deciding his own fate, not just limiting himself to Claire – Leah was a fierce advocate of choices and being in control of one's life. I, myself, was also happy for Quil – I'd heard my father and Old Quil discuss his imprint multiple times, and before I'd imprinted myself, they couldn't really wrap their heads around it. But after I'd imprinted on Nessie, all questions regarding imprinting on young kids were thrown out the window, and everything remained unquestioned.

But Quil, in his imprinted state, fully immersed in his love for Claire, had managed to _see_ this woman, had managed to notice her and her beauty and actually asked her out – I'd been living in a bubble for the last two years, all women seemed to have no face before Quil had announced his intentions. I'd always thought I couldn't see their faces because I couldn't, because of the imprint – but now, I couldn't help but wonder, was it because I didn't _want_ to? I'd gotten so used to hearing Sam's consuming thoughts of Emily, of how no other girl mattered but her, that I'd just taken it for granted that that was the only way that I could look at girls now.

Quil had broken the mould – it was like he'd been looking through a dirty window for these past few years and now he'd decided to actually clean the glass and look outside properly: and he had managed to find Chele.

My head pounded with all these new thoughts rushing through me: what would happen now? I loved Reneesme, but I loved her like a little sister, the one you always got lumped babysitting when her parents weren't available … and I was happy like that, loving her in this way. She was so young, so innocent, like a little flower – I was sometimes scared I'd crush her with a little hug.

Could I see other women? Did I want to see other women?

I rubbed my hand over my eyes vigorously, before I turned on my side and switched off the light. These were questions for another day, possibly another time. But before I fell asleep, a part of me prayed to the spirits to help Quil make it work.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

 _Rachel Black_

 _BBQ_

Sometimes I felt like my entire life was one prolonged out-of-body experience. There were moments of pure clarity, as I would be going about my normal day, that I would just pause and have a few seconds of utter confusion, as if my mind and my body couldn't remember or understand what I was doing back home, back in La Push, taking my brother's and dad's clothes down from the washing line, folding them up, making mental lists of what had to be fixed all over the house, doing the shopping, cooking, cleaning… This wasn't _me_. This was thirteen, fourteen, _fifteen_ year old Rachel, coping with the disaster that had been my mom's death all those years ago… this wasn't supposed to be my life, I wasn't supposed to be stuck here… and I would see myself, standing there in the middle of the hallway, or the middle of the kitchen, looking from the outside in, barely able to recognize the woman I had become – the woman I had so desperately wanted to avoid.

And then, just like that, I'd blink away the confusion and go about my day – I'd put away Jacob's and Billy's clothes, I'd cook up lunch, clean the kitchen, call to check up on Emily. Somewhere at the back of my mind, a dull, dead part of me ached with the mundane things which preoccupied my time – here I was playing the housewife, when just a few years back I'd been on my way to finishing college, working my ass off, meeting people and making friends, partying on the weekends and slowly – but surely – broadening the limits of my world until I'd gotten far away from La Push. But the reservation was cursed – it seemed to pull everyone in, it seemed to destroy lives and give teenage boys a silly, magical purpose that would tear them away from their homes, their dreams and aspirations and leave them with … nothing. My brother was only barely getting back to normal – I'd left a bright-eyed Jacob pushing my dad around in his wheelchair, making stupid jokes despite the situation and following me and Becca around like a sad little puppy after mom died; and I'd come back to find a six foot seven something freak that could probably kill a guy with his little finger, let alone what he could do when he turned into a giant, horse-sized wolf.

Jake wasn't _so_ bad, but there seemed to be barriers and thick walls set up within our home that wouldn't let us communicate properly – I couldn't get through to Jake and he didn't want me to; we lived separate lives and he only mostly acknowledged me when he couldn't find Paul or to inform me of some pack bonfire down at the beach.

Where was my baby brother?

Sometimes when he'd be knocked out cold from some long patrol or some winded session with the younger kids, I'd look at him (in a totally not creepy kind of way) and try to find the kid I'd left behind all those years ago. It had broken my heart at the time, but I felt it had to be done – I'd thought of Rachel before the Black family for the first time in my life and all that had happened to me in the past few years was the universe's way of slapping me in the face for leaving a ten year old kid to take care of a wheelchair bound man on his own.

 _Stupid, stupid, stupid._

I'd cried on the drive to Seattle, when I'd originally left La Push but that had been the extent of my guilt – settling down at college had taken up most of my time and energy and I'd barely called to check back on them. Becca had left too; we'd abandoned Jacob and Dad alone in that house filled with the ghosts of a family who had loved each other in the past. And now, I had to live with the fact that my brother _hated_ me and hated what I represented to him: the sense of abandonment Becca and I had instilled into his poor little heart.

I guess that is why he clings to Seth and Leah so fervently – Sue and Harry had taken care of them, and they'd been the family to him that we'd never been. Sure, Billy seems to have forgiven me – hell, he'd welcomed me back with open arms and cried with happiness that I was back, but Jacob had given me a terse nod and gone back to yelling at Leah on the phone. I remember the sense of dread that had pooled in my stomach after I'd gotten over the initial shock that, _yes_ , that hulking figure in our kitchen was my baby brother – the dread that came along with the fact that my brother was someone I didn't know, and I was someone he didn't care to meet.

Then Paul had imprinted on me and started hanging around our house more often which just served to push Jacob further and further away, and he started to spend more time around the Clearwaters.

The _Clearwaters_.

I sighed as I folded up another up Jake's tattered T-shirts. Dad was out having a beer with Charlie and Paul was off at work. Times were a bit harder now since Paul was trying his hardest to stop phasing, so tensions were a bit on the high side at the Black residence, especially since Paul got ticked off at the smallest, most random things. But I got what he was doing. And I appreciated the sacrifice – it was basically his way of telling me he wanted to have kids, he wanted to grow old with me… I smiled softly. In a past life, kids had been the farthest thing from my mind but now, did I want anything else other than that?

I placed the clothes down onto the table and stared. I did that often now – staring. Before, I barely had time to _think_ , but now in La Push, time seemed to stretch on forever, like a piece of gum that you just keep pulling and pulling. The longevity of it all and the slow pace of life on the reservation put me in a constant state of irritation – sometimes I felt as though I was itching to break away from underneath my skin, like I was trapped inside myself, inside this stupid house, on this stupid piece of land, on this God-forsaken Olympic Peninsula. I'd want to punch a wall or kick over a chair or something, but then I'd see the photo of Paul and I stuck to the fridge and I'd calm down. Somewhat.

Emily and Kim had never known anything outside of La Push and the other imprints were toddlers. I'd always been the one with the most to lose, and I'd lost almost _everything_ , just to be here, to be _this_.

I heard the front door open and shut, followed by heavy footsteps making their way to the kitchen. I recognized Jacob's gait and turned to see him walking into the kitchen, ducking underneath the doorway. My baby brother was too big to fit through a doorway.

He grunted an acknowledgement at my presence and made his way over to the pot on the stove and helped himself to some food. He couldn't look at me sometimes, but I found it especially difficult to look at him. I hated to admit it to myself, but looking at Jacob was just too painful, especially when looking into his eyes was looking into Sarah's eyes, into my mom's eyes, and I couldn't bear to look into those eyes and see anything bordering on hatred. I didn't want my mom to hate me, but she probably did after what I'd done to Jake. I could see her in the line of his nose and the set of his jaw, the firm line of his lips and the crinkle of his eyes whenever I got the chance to see him smile. _My baby brother …_

He settled down at the table in front of me and I moved some clothes around to make space for him.

"Thanks," he mumbled and proceeded to shovel food down his throat.

I cleared my throat and crossed my arms over my chest. "So, um… how was your day?"

He shrugged and kept eating. "Not bad," he said between mouthfuls. "Quite a lot to do, but I don't mind it."

 _I should get a job…_ I thought to myself. It would surely alleviate some of my mind-numbing boredom. "That's good," I added worthlessly – I didn't really get Jacob's fascination with cars, much less his desire to work on them everyday but I supposed any interest would be helpful in this case.

We rarely found anything to say to each other – I guess having a sister whose sole purpose had been reduced to being someone's imprint was not really good fodder for conversation, and it's not like they kept me in the loop on pack stuff – what I knew about the wolves, I got to know through Emily. Not even Paul was keen on speaking about that stuff around me. I hated that – hated that he treated me like some kind of weak rag doll who had to be protected from all the ugly things in the world, but sometimes I knew he couldn't help it. The Elders had drilled into their minds that we are so precious, no wonder they treated us as if we are made from porcelain.

Jake suddenly cleared his throat and I looked up to find him staring at me intently.

"We're going to have a BBQ tonight down at First Beach," he started, drumming his fingers against the top of the table. That small, irritated part of me wanted to scream at him to stop being so annoying, but I bit my tongue and let him go on. "The whole pack is gonna be there if you want to join so…"

He trailed off, and I nodded, giving him a small smile. "Of course I'll be there," I said, scooping up his plate and walking over to the sink to clean up. "I'll check in with Emily see which food I'll need to bring."

I was already checking things off in my mind, trying to remember what stuff we had packed up in our freezer.

"Quil is bringing his girlfriend."

I froze. I could feel something building up inside of me, some sort of tension, a scream, a rush of emotions that I hadn't felt in a long time. In the past years my emotional palette had become quite limited – since Paul's main reason for being was to make sure that I was happy, sadness, anger and frustration were emotions that I had become quite unaccustomed to. I set the plate down slowly into the sink and braced myself against the kitchen top.

" _Girlfriend?_ " I could barely speak, my voice quivering intensely, my shoulders locking as if my body was shielding itself from this information.

"Yep, her name is Chele. He'll be introducing her to us tonight."

And then, he just left. No goodbyes, no further explanations. A small part of me was convinced he'd said that stuff just to get a kick out of seeing me freak out. Just to be mean. But Jacob wasn't a mean guy – sure, he despised me and my existence but he was never intentionally mean. I turned around to face my bleak kitchen, the one my mom used to make pancakes and birthday cakes in when we were little, with the white paint peeling off at the corners and the cracked tiles below the sick white light overhead. All of a sudden, I felt really trapped, like the walls of my childhood home were collapsing, falling in on me, threatening to trap me in this house forever, never leaving, never moving forward, always trapped here in this sad state.

A scream bubbled up in my chest, and simultaneously I felt as though my whole body was breaking. The dull, dead part of me, the part of Rachel that had resisted La Push, the imprint, _everything_ , was getting stronger every second. It was like she was gripping the sides of my head so tight, crushing my brain.

 _I told you so_ , she screamed. _I fucking told you so_.

And she was right. Quil's girlfriend meant that imprints were not forever binding, that the magic that held us together was magic _bullshit_ , that I'd given up college for Paul based on a _lie_. Tears gathered and spilled forth, staining my cheeks and my blouse. I could see Paul's face, feel his love and his touch – he was so present all the time, always there, always suffocating me with his love. I cried and cried and cried.

I cried for Paul.

I cried for my dreams, broken and forgotten.

I cried for me, for Emily, for Kim.

I cried for my baby brother.

I cried.

-:-

Going down to First Beach had taken up more of my energy than I'd anticipated. I had no idea if Emily knew of the recent turn of events, and I didn't really want to know. I just wanted to curl up into a ball and stay away from all this bullshit. I set the food down beside the BBQ and wandered off onto a random log set around the fire, sitting all alone. As an imprint, it was generally taken as a given that I would be manning the food station, making sure that all the guys got their fill and all that jazz.

In a past life, I had been this super feminist who believed that men should cook their own goddamn food, but after the imprint I'd just let all that go and accepted that Paul deserved to be pampered, much in the same way that he pampered me. So I whittled down my pride and accepted my fate as serving girl to around twenty overgrown teenagers for the rest of my life.

The voice inside my head laughed bitterly. _Let the fuckers cook their own food_. I had no idea who I wanted to teach a lesson to, or who I wanted to get back at, all I knew was that I wanted to gain a little bit of control over my life again, whatever way. Fuck the powers that be. A headache had blossomed at the side of my head – part of me, despite whatever Quil's girlfriend represented, was still adamant about the power of the imprint and my feelings for Paul, but the other part was _furious_ and I'd basically made myself sick thinking about all the connotations this recent development brought about with it.

I heard some of the guys mumbling that Paul had gotten caught up at work, and sure enough, I found a text from him explaining the situation. I could feel all the love and emotions through the text message – it almost made me physically sick. I chucked my phone back into my pocket and rested my chin on my knees, eyeing the pack over the bonfire. Emily and Kim had no time to waste checking up on me, they were far too busy with the food, and all the others seemed to be engrossed in conversations with someone else. I was left mostly to my own devices.

Jacob and Leah were set off from the rest of the pack, discussing something heatedly. Heatedly was a useless word in this case, because whenever Jacob and Leah talked it was always _heated_. It was like they were always ticked off with each other, just waiting for the other person to say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing and they would just go off. Leah was facing the bonfire and Jake was standing behind her, positioned such that his lips were close enough to her ear that they could talk barely moving their lips. Their frames both seemed tense; the set of their eyes and the grips of their jaws. I could see the tendons in their necks clearly even from this distance and they did not seem happy.

Leah caught me staring at her and her eyes narrowed, her beautiful face collapsing into one of almost irritation. Before college, Leah and I had been inseparable, but I guess in the same way that I'd broken Jake's heart, I'd broken Leah's too. Leah's dreams were my dreams, and while I'd gotten out, she'd never had the chance to step foot outside the reservation. I'd heard Sue mumbling to my dad late at night, expressing her worries for her sweet daughter, but Emily mostly couldn't sympathise with her. I'd barely spoken to her since I'd gotten back – she always seemed to have more important stuff to do than to catch up with her childhood best friend, like keeping a whole pack of kids and my brother in line. And to be honest, I'd never pushed her for a conversation either.

But the look she gave me now was the same one Jake reserved for me most of the time – _contempt_. That I'd been handed the world on a silver platter and I'd thrown it away.

From across the fire I could see Leah's lips start to move again, her eyes focused explicitly on me, never moving. Jacob, too, suddenly turned his gaze to face me and I felt like a wounded animal being stalked by its prey under their gazes. Both of them acted like wild animals, I guess. There was a certain beauty and elegance to the way they moved, like Leah could feel Jake, and Jake could feel Leah. They moved in tandem, a duo, a team, and sometimes watching them was so satisfying that I got distracted; other times, watching them was almost scary – the way Leah's eyes sometimes turned almost feral, or the way the muscles in her slender arms tensed up truly showing the power she harboured and her ability to kill anything in sight. In some ways, Leah was actually more dangerous than Jacob – whilst Jacob's size and presence clearly marked him as a dangerous being, Leah was carefully encapsulated into a beautiful, albeit freakishly tall, body that was all things elegant, graceful, strong and resilient whenever she needed to be.

A part of me was envious of her – she was a vital cog within the whole pack structure and she was rarely kept out of pack conversations, she always knew what was going on and she seemed like she had everything under control. When I'd first got back, Emily had steered me away from Leah, given me the low-down on the horrible love triangle that had transpired between them, and warned me of Leah's temper. She'd proven herself several times over the past few years – sometimes I'd found her screaming in our backyard, covered in some tattered clothes, half naked for all the world to see. She'd stomped into our house with one of the pups in tow several times, to treat him for a black eye or a bruised lip that she'd inflicted because she hadn't liked the way his eyes had wandered on the _tone_ of his thoughts. She cursed around my dad, hit my brother almost constantly, and mostly snapped at anyone who asked too many questions or anyone who wasn't _pack_.

But for someone who seemed constantly on edge, she still sort of mothered a lot of the younger ones. I'd seen her with them, especially recently, breaking up fights and keeping them apart when she feared they would lose their self control and ruin their phasing streaks; checking up on them at the school during her lunch break from the library…

Jacob told her something she didn't like, which was clear even from a far, as she elbowed him and roller her eyes and stalked off, to find someone else to torment. She ended up with Embry and Seth, and as she joined in on the conversation, Embry slung his arm around her casually. She allowed a small smile and eyed Seth as he was jabbering on about something and even for a small second, she almost seemed content with her lot in life. The way Sue spoke about Leah, it was as if she was a complete outsider to the pack, but that was clearly not the case – she was like their sister or their mother in some ways, and she definitely had her place with them.

A small pang of pain resounded in my chest – everyone seemed to have found their place, their _role_ , their responsibilities and they all seemed to be happy that way – all except me. Maybe everyone was calm because they hadn't been given the wonderful news by Jacob from beforehand of the almost catastrophe that was going to take place tonight, or maybe they just didn't care …

As I looked up from the fire, where Leah, Embry and Seth were still joking around together, my eyes wandered off to the side, to my brother. Jacob was staring intently over the other pups at Leah, his eyes trained on her almost reverently, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

 _What the…?_

My mind was about to start racing at the prospect when Seth suddenly started hollering, "Quil's here!" and everyone around the fire just turned to face the approaching couple curiously. My stomach swooped and dropped and I could feel the bile starting to rise up in my throat; I trembled slightly and lifted my gaze, and whilst everyone had their backs turned to me, facing Quil, Leah and Jacob were staring straight at me, eyes blazing in the glow of the fire.

 _Oh, so that is what they were so agitated about._

Leave it to Alpha and Beta to keep tabs on the most volatile of the imprints in these situations. I was starting to wonder if Paul was _actually_ still caught up at work or if it was just one of Jacob's little plans to ease up the situation. Having Paul around tonight and him trying to comfort and cling to me to prove his love might have pushed me over the edge so, yeah, it had probably been a good call.

They slowly walked around the fire and sat themselves on either side of me – I suddenly felt like I was in a really stupid chick flick where my life was ruined by the constant presence of my dad's overbearing bodyguards – and Leah mumbled slowly beneath her breath, " _Stay calm, Rach._ "

Quil was introducing his girlfriend to the pack and I suddenly caught sight of Kim and Emily next to the BBQ, mouths hanging open and their faces filled with a look of utter confusion. Emily quickly searched for me, then did a small double-take when she saw me sitting next to Leah, before she mouthed a _What the hell?!_ in my direction. Quil was making his way over to us and Leah got up, pulling me up with her in one fluid motion.

"Hey Chele," she said chirpily (Leah was never chirpy), and leaned in to give both Quil and the girl small hugs. Chele was a petite girl with waist-length dark hair and large eyes. She seemed a bit shocked that Quil's friends were just like Quil – unnecessarily large and loud and scary, but she seemed to know Leah and Jake already. Of course, Quil probably had to introduce her to them beforehand so that they could approve of her themselves. "This is Rachel, Jake's sister."

"Hey," she smiled softly, leaning into Quil as if she was afraid of me or something – like I was the most dangerous thing around.

"Nice to meet you," I tried, but it fell flat. I couldn't muster up the energy to fake it, and Quil seemed to take the cue because he immediately shuffled Chele away from me and towards someone else.

Emily and Kim quickly made their way over to us, their eyes teeming with panic, their voices getting more high pitched by the second. I was still a bit shocked from everything, but all of a sudden, Leah started herding all three of us away from the bonfire and towards a more secluded part of the beach away from the group. If this was Jacob's way of diffusing the situation, I had to admit that he was smarter than I gave him credit for – using Leah was a surefire way to put the fear of God into us and she didn't seem at all amused by us.

"No one mentioned Quil has a girlfriend! Since when did this happen?"

"Yeah, isn't he imprinted? He's still imprinted on Claire, right? What's happening with Claire?"

"Uh, yeah, why isn't she here?"

"How can he be imprinted and have a girlfriend?"

"Did he break the imprint? Ohmygod, is it possible to break the imprint?" Kim started crying at this point and Emily was a bit shaky too, wrapping her arms around her and trying to comfort her.

"We were told the imprints were unbreakable, the most permanent things in our lives, _how can they do this to us?_ "

Leah was just standing there watching the other two break down into almost hysterics, whilst I was having one of my out-of-body experiences where I couldn't seem to grasp that this was actually happening to me.

"Are you ladies just about finished?" she snapped finally, crossing her arms over her chest. She towered over all three of us and she seemed totally unimpressed. Kim quieted down into small sobs, but she still clung to Emily as they eyed Leah warily. She started muttering to herself – "I can't _believe_ Jake's making me do this… Yes, Quil has a girlfriend. Yes, he is still imprinted. No, he didn't break the imprint. I don't know why Claire isn't here. I don't know if imprints are really unbreakable or not just for once in your lives please try to understand a situation that is not explicitly about you. Quil is imprinted on a seven year old girl, which means that to fulfill the destiny which we believe is written for him, Quil has to spend the next twelve years waiting for a kid to grow up into a the woman that he will marry and eventually have kids with. Do you _honestly_ not realise how cruel and just downright _wrong_ that is? Do you really expect him to wait out these years and marry the girl whose shit he spent years wiping up all so he can fulfill the meaning of an imprint as it is to you guys? For fuck's sake, don't do anything stupid. I like Chele, Quil likes her and you will surely not fuck this up for him, is that clear? I hope so. Any issues you might have, hash them out with the Elders or your imprints, just keep your insecure bullshit to yourselves. Now you will go back to the bonfire and you will calm the fuck down and you will not make this another situation about yourselves again."

She stomped away from us, not looking back to see if we were at all rattled by her rant. She was mostly right – Quil's situation was not our situation by any means, and feeling threatened by his relationship was perhaps the knee jerk reaction to this news, but not the only reaction … I eyed Kim and Emily, who were swiping at their eyes to remove any tears or traces of crying from their faces. They looked at me, and we all took a deep breath in, schooling our features to do what had to be done. I would accept Quil's relationship and even be happy for him, but this new turn of events had given me food for thought about my own imprint and suddenly, I felt as if the universe was placing my ability to choose my own paths in life back in my lap.

Maybe instead of seeing it as something solely negative I could learn to see the positive part of it.

I was back in control of myself.


End file.
